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  Topic: WHO IS THIS GIRL
MissCJMonroe

Replies: 2
Views: 517

PostForum: Post a Poem   Posted: Wed Nov 25 18:51:10 EST 2009   Subject: Re: WHO IS THIS GIRL
This is a piece I would really like to tighten up because the general idea behind it is really important to me. Very open to criticism!
  Topic: WHO IS THIS GIRL
MissCJMonroe

Replies: 2
Views: 517

PostForum: Post a Poem   Posted: Wed Nov 25 18:49:50 EST 2009   Subject: WHO IS THIS GIRL
Who is this girl
I walk around inside
There is something beautiful about her, I know it
But she doesn’t

There is something humbling
About the comfortable stature she holds
While snuggled in ...
  Topic: Bad Advice
MissCJMonroe

Replies: 3
Views: 552

PostForum: Small Poems   Posted: Wed Nov 25 18:46:53 EST 2009   Subject: Re: Bad Advice
I like the concept behind this, a sort of warning to be sure you convey the correct message to those who are relying on your advice. Maybe you could see how the it would sound if the second and third ...
  Topic: be healed my child
MissCJMonroe

Replies: 2
Views: 452

PostForum: Small Poems   Posted: Wed Nov 25 18:40:36 EST 2009   Subject: Re: be healed my child
Wow. I feel like this must have taken a lot of time to come up with just the right words. It honestly seems very carefully crafted and it's message is very clear. As I look over it, I really can't ...
  Topic: There's a Crystal Meth Addict Living in My Garage
MissCJMonroe

Replies: 7
Views: 984

PostForum: Post a Poem   Posted: Tue Nov 10 3:33:31 EST 2009   Subject: Re: There's a Crystal Meth Addict Living in My Garage
Great Metaphor. Thank you!
  Topic: THE TIMES I WISH I SMOKED
MissCJMonroe

Replies: 1
Views: 581

PostForum: Post a Poem   Posted: Tue Nov 10 1:28:30 EST 2009   Subject: THE TIMES I WISH I SMOKED
Waiting, waiting for my ride
My ass taking on the patterns of this bench
which has surely held many waiters before me
Every set of approaching headlights
Evaluated as possible salvation
Disappoi ...
  Topic: The Givers and The Takers (a.k.a. Soul Suckers)
MissCJMonroe

Replies: 2
Views: 1059

PostForum: Post a Poem   Posted: Mon Nov 9 22:28:34 EST 2009   Subject: Re: The Givers and The Takers (a.k.a. Soul Suckers)
Thank you for your feedback.

As far as the avatar, I realize that you are right. I did not even think about that. I have changed it to dali piece.

The model is Olive Thomas (the orginal flapp ...
  Topic: Need Help With Title
MissCJMonroe

Replies: 8
Views: 876

PostForum: Post a Poem   Posted: Mon Nov 9 16:59:34 EST 2009   Subject: Re: Need Help With Title
For sum reason, I feel this poem should be entitled "The Taking"
  Topic: leaves in snow
MissCJMonroe

Replies: 5
Views: 888

PostForum: Post a Poem   Posted: Mon Nov 9 15:50:34 EST 2009   Subject: Re: leaves in snow
Very Impressive. "headed for home, combing through time" really spoke to me although I'm not sure why. Had I not already known you had put music to it, i would have suggested it. Keep doing your th ...
  Topic: The Givers and The Takers (a.k.a. Soul Suckers)
MissCJMonroe

Replies: 2
Views: 1059

PostForum: Post a Poem   Posted: Mon Nov 9 15:46:44 EST 2009   Subject: The Givers and The Takers (a.k.a. Soul Suckers)
I extend a hand to save
To put pressure on the gushing wounds
Of the fallen soldiers around me
The agonizing cries of need bring me to my knees and
Eyes closed (as they have always been)
I c ...
  Topic: Schizophrenia
MissCJMonroe

Replies: 7
Views: 1072

PostForum: Post a Poem   Posted: Mon Nov 9 15:44:37 EST 2009   Subject: Re: Schizophrenia
The only suggestion i have here is the title. As a psychology student, I have learned that it is a common misconception to relate schizophrenia with dissociative identity disorder (previously known a ...
  Topic: DEAR ANXIETY
MissCJMonroe

Replies: 0
Views: 486

PostForum: Post a Poem   Posted: Mon Nov 9 15:39:46 EST 2009   Subject: DEAR ANXIETY
DEAR ANXIETY

I can feel you there
And I know that feeling is your profession
What you’re good for
Just to live inside my chest
And ache

You intensify every worry
Paranoia is your best fri ...
  Topic: sometimes
MissCJMonroe

Replies: 10
Views: 1146

PostForum: Small Poems   Posted: Mon Nov 9 15:39:07 EST 2009   Subject: Re: sometimes
I liked the rhythm in this. It doesn't employ any extra words it doesn't need and still has the energy it needs to be powerful. Nice work!
  Topic: the joys of camping
MissCJMonroe

Replies: 9
Views: 1060

PostForum: Small Poems   Posted: Mon Nov 9 15:36:15 EST 2009   Subject: Re: the joys of camping
I want to understand what this piece means because I like the words, but i do not!
  Topic: close to smolder
MissCJMonroe

Replies: 2
Views: 558

PostForum: Small Poems   Posted: Mon Nov 9 15:34:22 EST 2009   Subject: Re: close to smolder
I like the metaphor this suggests. Seems like a poem that comes to you in one of those moments spent staring into the camp fire.
  Topic: The Willing Dead
MissCJMonroe

Replies: 3
Views: 810

PostForum: Post a Poem   Posted: Mon Nov 2 20:24:34 EST 2009   Subject: The Willing Dead
the willing dead
A pathetic lament screams up at me from the filth of the sidewalks.
"Help me" it groans, "please, help me."

Ordinarily, my street smarts direct me to play ignorant
To continue ...
 
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