Search found 16 matches

This is a piece I would really like to tighten up because the general idea behind it is really important to me. Very open to criticism!

Who is this girl
I walk around inside
There is something beautiful about her, I know it
But she doesn’t

There is something humbling
About the comfortable stature she holds
While snuggled in ...

I like the concept behind this, a sort of warning to be sure you convey the correct message to those who are relying on your advice. Maybe you could see how the it would sound if the second and third ...

Wow. I feel like this must have taken a lot of time to come up with just the right words. It honestly seems very carefully crafted and it's message is very clear. As I look over it, I really can't ...

Great Metaphor. Thank you!

Waiting, waiting for my ride
My ass taking on the patterns of this bench
which has surely held many waiters before me
Every set of approaching headlights
Evaluated as possible salvation
Disappoi ...

Thank you for your feedback.

As far as the avatar, I realize that you are right. I did not even think about that. I have changed it to dali piece.

The model is Olive Thomas (the orginal flapp ...

For sum reason, I feel this poem should be entitled "The Taking"

Very Impressive. "headed for home, combing through time" really spoke to me although I'm not sure why. Had I not already known you had put music to it, i would have suggested it. Keep doing your th ...

I extend a hand to save
To put pressure on the gushing wounds
Of the fallen soldiers around me
The agonizing cries of need bring me to my knees and
Eyes closed (as they have always been)
I c ...

The only suggestion i have here is the title. As a psychology student, I have learned that it is a common misconception to relate schizophrenia with dissociative identity disorder (previously known a ...

DEAR ANXIETY

I can feel you there
And I know that feeling is your profession
What you’re good for
Just to live inside my chest
And ache

You intensify every worry
Paranoia is your best fri ...

I liked the rhythm in this. It doesn't employ any extra words it doesn't need and still has the energy it needs to be powerful. Nice work!

I want to understand what this piece means because I like the words, but i do not!

I like the metaphor this suggests. Seems like a poem that comes to you in one of those moments spent staring into the camp fire.

the willing dead
A pathetic lament screams up at me from the filth of the sidewalks.
"Help me" it groans, "please, help me."

Ordinarily, my street smarts direct me to play ignorant
To continue ...