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Author Message
  Topic: Great article about my art and poetry
greygrynn

Replies: 10
Views: 1334

PostForum: The Coffee Shop   Posted: Thu Nov 8 20:55:49 EST 2012   Subject: Re: Great article about my art and poetry
Brown - Simply spell binding. Great article, and yes - your paintings, just incredible.
  Topic: Lazarus of Bethany
greygrynn

Replies: 7
Views: 1827

PostForum: Poetry of the Page and Stage   Posted: Sat Jul 16 21:47:10 EDT 2011   Subject: Re: Lazarus of Bethany
Jester, it's a very thought provoking read. I like the pacing.
  Topic: Happy Birthday Mamta
greygrynn

Replies: 16
Views: 2147

PostForum: The Coffee Shop   Posted: Mon May 30 18:43:34 EDT 2011   Subject: Re: Happy Birthday Mamta
Mamta - Very Happy Birthday!!
  Topic: Finely Aged Poultry???
greygrynn

Replies: 5
Views: 1110

PostForum: The Coffee Shop   Posted: Tue May 24 14:13:00 EDT 2011   Subject: Re: Finely Aged Poultry???
happy birthday Mr. Chicken! Smile
  Topic: Don Corniggaleoni
greygrynn

Replies: 5
Views: 913

PostForum: Post a poem   Posted: Fri Apr 1 1:11:23 EDT 2011   Subject: Re: Don Corniggaleoni
again - very pure and the pace - not a heart beat wasted.
  Topic: Intimacies
greygrynn

Replies: 16
Views: 2237

PostForum: Post a poem   Posted: Fri Mar 25 17:33:53 EDT 2011   Subject: Re: Intimacies
I know it's you call - Are you going to post this in finished?
  Topic: Sixteen----a story
greygrynn

Replies: 7
Views: 731

PostForum: Post a poem   Posted: Thu Mar 24 21:19:08 EDT 2011   Subject: Re: Sixteen----a story
Now we’re getting somewhere – what can you do to make it “more poetic”?
  Topic: Sixteen----a story
greygrynn

Replies: 7
Views: 731

PostForum: Post a poem   Posted: Thu Mar 24 6:40:54 EDT 2011   Subject: Re: Sixteen----a story
The pace and energy seem pretty good – maybe just a little trimming to tighten up the focus?
  Topic: Intimacies
greygrynn

Replies: 16
Views: 2237

PostForum: Post a poem   Posted: Sat Mar 19 11:06:14 EDT 2011   Subject: Re: Intimacies
your touch never stops amazing. I'm rereading this one again just make sure I see more of what you placed here.
  Topic: Children Scream Loud
greygrynn

Replies: 5
Views: 602

PostForum: Post a poem   Posted: Sat Mar 19 11:02:56 EDT 2011   Subject: Re: Children Scream Loud
very deft snap shot of this event.
  Topic: Forget Me Not
greygrynn

Replies: 11
Views: 1928

PostForum: Post a poem   Posted: Sat Mar 19 10:57:57 EDT 2011   Subject: Re: Forget Me Not
much sharper now - really hits very hard.
  Topic: 12 North of Montgomery
greygrynn

Replies: 6
Views: 1083

PostForum: Post a poem   Posted: Sat Mar 12 15:27:06 EST 2011   Subject: Re: 12 North of Montgomery
OK - Very Light Rewrite

Erskine Hawkins babumps sugar-pain gentle,
flesh long-gone to Alabama’s’ rich dirt and rain,
saxophone raisin its sweet angel cane.

Scatter, bored hyenas, from chro ...
  Topic: Saints
greygrynn

Replies: 7
Views: 846

PostForum: Post a poem   Posted: Sat Mar 12 14:36:54 EST 2011   Subject: Re: Saints
yes, must comment on how well this write flows - great work my friend.
  Topic: Advice
greygrynn

Replies: 10
Views: 1224

PostForum: Post a poem   Posted: Sat Mar 12 14:30:27 EST 2011   Subject: Re: Advice
What are your plans for this one? I liked the zigs and zags so to speak.
  Topic: Sixteen----a story
greygrynn

Replies: 7
Views: 731

PostForum: Post a poem   Posted: Sat Mar 12 14:21:08 EST 2011   Subject: Re: Sixteen----a story
very high on the emotional scale and see the message very clear.
  Topic: Forget Me Not
greygrynn

Replies: 11
Views: 1928

PostForum: Post a poem   Posted: Sat Mar 12 14:17:04 EST 2011   Subject: Re: Forget Me Not
ok - the intensity and purity of what you've captured - sublime.
You’re in past tense/passive voice most of the time – Is this intentional?
A possible suggestion - Making it more present tense ...
  Topic: No such thing
greygrynn

Replies: 9
Views: 1455

PostForum: Love Poetry   Posted: Sat Mar 12 14:10:27 EST 2011   Subject: Re: No such thing
yes this is a much strong write - really like it
  Topic: Movement
greygrynn

Replies: 14
Views: 1597

PostForum: Post a poem   Posted: Fri Mar 11 21:34:08 EST 2011   Subject: Re: Movement
please do - very nice read
  Topic: The Ring of Fire
greygrynn

Replies: 5
Views: 779

PostForum: Post a poem   Posted: Fri Mar 11 21:32:25 EST 2011   Subject: Re: The Ring of Fire
great energy and imagery
  Topic: Rugs in Taos
greygrynn

Replies: 5
Views: 836

PostForum: Post a poem   Posted: Sun Mar 6 23:09:56 EST 2011   Subject: Re: Rugs in Taos
agree, very nice indeed!
  Topic: 12 North of Montgomery
greygrynn

Replies: 6
Views: 1083

PostForum: Post a poem   Posted: Sat Mar 5 10:09:34 EST 2011   Subject: Re: 12 North of Montgomery
Erskine Hawkins lilts sugar-cane pain gentle,
flesh long-gone to Alabama’s’ rich dirt and rain,
saxophone crying to the sweet angels.

Scatter, bored hyenas, from lumbering,
18 wheeled masto ...
  Topic: 12 North of Montgomery
greygrynn

Replies: 6
Views: 1083

PostForum: Post a poem   Posted: Fri Mar 4 10:06:10 EST 2011   Subject: Re: 12 North of Montgomery
very cool - Thanks for the concrete suggestions! I plan on adding a little more to the start of this piece and will look at the line issues.
  Topic: 12 North of Montgomery
greygrynn

Replies: 6
Views: 1083

PostForum: Post a poem   Posted: Tue Mar 1 11:51:59 EST 2011   Subject: Re: 12 North of Montgomery
Hey, Butterflyzrfree, thanks for your great comments! - You're right there is no real setup in this piece. It's a snap shot from the drivers' perspective and what they're seeing in this too small a ti ...
  Topic: 12 North of Montgomery
greygrynn

Replies: 6
Views: 1083

PostForum: Post a poem   Posted: Mon Feb 28 23:40:23 EST 2011   Subject: 12 North of Montgomery
They scatter, bored hyenas, from lumbering,
18 wheeled mastodon diving for Exit 89.
Regroup as though nothing happened.

And we roll, 10 over down highway 85.
Sunlight glitter-pops off red-silve ...
  Topic: This site will be down for maintenance - Wednesday February
greygrynn

Replies: 5
Views: 1653

PostForum: Help Desk   Posted: Thu Feb 24 23:03:45 EST 2011   Subject: Re: This site will be down for maintenance - Wednesday February
Ok - Very cool on the performance!
 
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