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Forums > > Poetry Workshops > > The Rewrite Workshop > > Off the top of my head
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Off the top of my head


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Mello
I might even come back next week!


I might even come back next week!



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PostPosted: Mon Jun 2 3:20:37 EDT 2008    Post subject: Off the top of my head Reply with quote

Off the Top of My Head

Random words make their appearence here (my head)
trying to form a sentence that's inspiring, new, and would eventually
make sense but, they end up being about random
words poping into my head. Soon though they are tiped off by
coincidental events in this case forgetting how to spell .... well .... I'd rather not say. Soon after I reread the writting to find some logic within it.
In vain though because after awhile I wonder about how this all came to be because even though I've written it down I don't remember it happening
that way or at all. It makes no sense, to me, how random words come to
be. And now I doubt this was from the top of my head, rather than that
they most likely came from the depth of my memory and surroundings.
So, this would disagree with my title therefor it must be changed the
problem is that if I were to what would it be? 'Cause then this would not
make much sense to the reader........


Now could that be a poem? If so any suggestions?
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 2 14:42:08 EDT 2008    Post subject: Re: Off the top of my head Reply with quote

mello, this stream of words isn't a poem, as much as you might want to shape them into one. I'd start again with an idea, feeling, observation you'd like to share with us that will make us think, feel, or come to some new understanding. Writing a meaningful poem is hard work; give it a try.
Good luck!

L.
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Mello
I might even come back next week!


I might even come back next week!



Joined: Jun 01, 2008
Posts: 18
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 2 16:45:20 EDT 2008    Post subject: Re: Off the top of my head Reply with quote

Fine, here's one I wrote to my friend not too long ago

A fire that's warm not hot.
With the intensity of hell
It wont burn the thinest of papers.
It cools my rage and yet it's a strong Fire
The fire is you; your friendship.
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