ANNOUNCING THE WINNERS of our quarterly GotPoetry Contest held in September.


The staff and curators of GotPoetry thank all the participants for making this contest a huge success. We look forward to your participation again in our future contests.

taking fifth place


A Certain Quiet by Zbird

The cold wind wafted the scent of copper
electrified the air that tickled first
the hairs in our noses and then
excited every nerve in our bodies.

Yes, the first snow of winter
would fall by morning and soon
the world would be covered in
a soft blanket of white.

When the children awoke to the new snow,
there would be squeals of joy and
untamed pandemonium as sleds,
toboggans and ice skates were brought out.

But before the noise and bustle
I would rise early to greet and appreciate
the beauty and enjoy that certain quiet
of the first snow and welcome winter.

what our judges have to say

John: I think this poem is another great one. It could have easily won. The only place I could nit pick would be "untamed pandemonium as sleds, / toboggans and ice skates were brought out." A simpler more compact image would have served the poem better. Just the sled or just the ice skates being brought out would have focused the reader more.

Loisseau: Clear and well known visions of the first snow, and the feeling of wanting it unspoiled before kids and cars get at it. Visual examples good but not as fresh as I would like to see; felt I had read this before.

Rebel_Darlin': Beautiful sentiments but I found the overuse of the word 'and' a bit distracting.

Chameleon: I love the first stanza - it describes precisely those subtle 'yes, it's going to snow!' sensations. The use of the subjunctive mood (would fall, would be) through the rest of the poem makes the entire scene more remote - it feels like something taken from a prose memoir rather than a complete poem.

Rio: The first stanza of this poem draws the reader into the feeling of anticipation. Although I felt that the rest of the poem did not quite keep up with the opening. A couple of the traditional images caused issues for me, ice skates and toboggans do not make me think of the first snow, exactly, but more the middle of winter. The familiar scenes were enjoyable nonetheless.

RZS: I found the language in this piece to be more academic than conversational, which distanced me as a reader from the action, as does the use of rather common winter imagery. Use of future subjunctive descriptions of action which will happen later, followed by " But before the noise and bustle I would rise," add complexity, as well as result in some syntax problems.
First stanza best for me. I really like the scent of copper wafting on the electrified air. Missing a comma at the end of that line, perhaps?

taking fourth place

Spring, Just Arriving by bfaulkner

Mother woke up today.

She stretched, unthawing slowly from sleep.

She:

haphazardly pinked one cheek,
blotchily purpled her lower lip,
colored her right eyelid in greens and yellows,
dyed patches of her hair
bright white.

Were it anyone else, I’d say she was daft.
On her, it’s simply beautiful.

what our judges have to say

John: I think this poem would be fantastic if two lines were changed. "haphazardly pinked one cheek," and
"blotchily purpled her lower lip,". If it were not for those 2 lines I would have rated it first.

In poetry, especially a poem this compact and short, most adverbs are unnecessary - especially most "ly" ending adverbs. You will clutter your line and annoy the reader if you choose a verb that has a specific meaning and then add an adverb that carries the same meaning. Don't tell us that the radio blared loudly - "blare" connotes loudness by itself


Loisseau: This short metaphor of Mother Earth getting ready for her season (day) has been done before. An enjoyable read none the less.

Rebel Darlin': This piece stood out just because it was so different and I liked the vision of Mother Nature putting on her makeup, even if it seemd a bit overdone.

It made me smile.

Chameleon: The image of the Earth awakening in the Spring may not be new, but I like the way it is presented here. I think the placement of the two adjectives is distracting - they would have served better at the end of each line rather than the front - but other than that, I rather like the image of a blowsy woman awakening and dabbing on her makeup without regard to 'convention'.

Rio: This wonderful poem uses Mother Nature as a metaphor, but with an added irreverence. It was the irreverence and emphasis on imperfection which entertained me so much. Punctuated perfectly with the word “daft” this exquisite gem speaks to me on two levels. The first brings a smile and the second urges me to reflect on taking life not so seriously.

RZS: Though I like the idea behind this piece, I found the execution to be wanting. "unthawing" means the reverse of thawing, which would be freezing. The over-use of adverbs further weakens the delivery.
The image of mother nature putting on wild makeup is quite good, I wanted to like this poem better than I did.

taking third place

solstice by fogglethorpe

We pretend amid deficits of light,
medicated by exemplary dreams,
synthetic reveries
of icicle lamps and pie-scented candles,
of secular carols sung ad nauseum
by electric dancing snowmen,
of obligatory cards strung across archways,
of gaudy stockings on faux brick mantles,
of glitzy firs whose fallen needles
will prick our toes until Easter.

We pretend
that a mistletoe kiss is not an imposition,
that we’re not braving that mall carnage and throwing alms
only to stroke our egos and buy favor and pay down guilt,
that we love Handel,
that the pending new year will be different,
that everyone has a lover and a yule log for the night,
that all children really do sleep with visions of sugarplums,
that some cosmic philanthropist could or would
stop time for one evening to bless the world with frivolities.

We pretend
that generic chain stores are really cobblers and blacksmiths,
that the snow, if it even comes,
will stay pure and white along the curb.
We embrace each other tight
and our anachronisms tighter..
kept resolutions,
peace on earth.

what our judges have to say

John: "We pretend amid deficits of light, / medicated by exemplary dreams," For me this poem loses me in the beginning but draws me back in the middle and end. This poem is three stanzas stating "We pretend..." THe first stanza is too abstract for my taste but the second and third are fantastic. "We pretend / that a mistletoe kiss is not an imposition," "We pretend / that generic chain stores are really cobblers and blacksmiths," These are wonderful lines.

Loisseau: I liked the ba humbug aspects of this poem; too many "that"s in showing all that is wrong with us in the Yuletide season. I like the hope at the end, tied into the purity of new snow.


Rebel_Darlin: There are some very astute observations in these lines. "We pretend". Even as adults, the child in us clings to our traditions. That's not all bad is it?

Enjoyed this one fogglethorpe!

Chameleon: Once you get past the first stanza - which feels, frankly, precious and forced - this poem is pointed and sharp. The contrast between the painted images and the unvarnished reality is laid out in devastating clarity. Had that first stanza not been so intrusive, I would have rated the poem considerably higher.

Rio: Well I am definitely one of those who adores the winter holidays, and yet this perspective on it is a complete and honest one. It encapsulates something I truly crave from poetry; reaching deep into our psyche and society and bringing out the things we do not talk about into the light. Sarcasm included, very well done.

RZS: This was my favorite among the entries. I love the wry voice that gives an ironic edge to the richness of the language. This poem is like the child who sees that the emperor is naked but loves him anyway.
In all of our human failings and squalor, we still strive to be better with a dogged, perhaps undeserved, optimism.

2nd winner

Spectator by HSTeech

I stand on the desolate shore
Among the dissolving footprints,
Facing a sea unbroken by
sails and the flotsam of summer.
The Vineyard is speckled in spare light
And the moon is free to cast
Its rippled, converse shadow, uninterrupted.
Rosehips are shriveled and dead behind me,
Errant, uncollected shells beneath my feet.
The sand assembles itself unbidden in little hills
Around the footings of vacant lifeguard chairs.
Tidepools are left to gather treasure,
And the sea grass murmurs about the passing of time.
My breathing falls in with the cadence
Of the waves rushing in and slipping away.
Alone I witness the salty spectacle
Of fall eroding into winter.

what our judges have to say


John: This poem, while good, doesn't speak to me as effectively as the winning poem does. Perhaps it is the non concrete phrasing in the beginning such as desolate shore, converse shadow. In the beginning when I want to be sucked in with concreteness I am instead trying to determine what a desolate shore really looks like.


Loisseau: My favorite amongst the submissions. Perhaps it is because I live by the ocean, the concise examples in the poem resonated with me; the passage of time, season into season, shown by the ocean's timeless aspects.

Rebel_Darlin': I really liked the peacefulness of this piece, the calm acceptance of the passage of time. Nice work teech!

redheadedslxt: This poem has a very languished quality to it. I was able to put myself into the situation and feel the loneliness of summer coming to it's end and death(fall) inviting itself to sit by my side.

Bogeyman: Spectator by HSTeech "puts us on a desolate shore among the dissolving footprints" and immediately we are drawn into the familiar setting and the feeling of "fall eroding into winter". it is not the summer gone by, as in other poems. the fall by the sea is actually a welcome time for many, especially those who live by the sea, when the tourist crowds are gone, the weather is still warm, and you can enjoy tranquility after a busy summer season... but here it is the end of this season, and i regret, as the author does, that winter is coming... wonderful write!

Chameleon: A pretty piece, but it feels remote and unconnected. The personification of the sea and shore just don't quite resonate for me, perhaps because so much of the poem is in a passive voice, or perhaps because there are too many adjectives. In the end, it feels more like an intellectual exercise and doesn't draw me into the moment.

Rio: This awesome picture of the abandoned beach late in the year was enthralling to me. It has a delicate feeling of bittersweet loneliness. I saw a great deal of symbolism in the relating the beach and the passing of seasons to emotions and cycles in life. I thought it was incredibly stirring. I was also impressed by the polished appearance of the poem in regard to syntax and form.


RZS: I like the unpopulated scene, the idea of a continuity beyond the recent human activity. A tad adjective heavy. Best for me was " The sand assembles itself unbidden in little hills"

The Winner

If it could always be summer by graphitegirl

I wouldn't really mind
the years going by so fast
if summer lasted a little longer.
If the smell of honey brewing
among red clover
lingered under fall covered eves
and sun roasted winds blew
past new woolen scarves.
If the country fair never closed
its blue ribbon barns
and candied apples filled late harvest barrels.
If picnic blankets were never put away
behind rusty golf clubs and broken water guns
and lawns were always green.
If long twilight walks never ended
and wine poured music
was always heard from outdoor cafés.
If the sound of June laughter covered
the rustle of auburn colored leaves
and the gray never settled
among the clouds or in my hair.
If all I ever needed to remember
was my name being called
from an evening porch swing
then maybe I wouldn't mind
that the years go by so fast
and never last as long as summer.

what our judges have to say about the winning poem

John: The sense of nostalgia and reminiscence in this poem speaks to me on an emotional level. I enjoyed reading this poem. The images really 'put me there' in the setting the poem's words paint. For me the refrain of "If..." works well by tying each image back to the thesis of the piece: "I wouldn't really mind / the years going by so fast / if summer lasted a little longer."

Loisseau: This poem had me ready for a summer poem, but in fact is a list poem for all that is wonderful in the early Fall. The refrain "If ....seemed to me slightly repetitive. A fine seasonal piece.

Rebel_Darlin': This piece drew me right in with the first lines and continues on an amiable walk down nostalgia lane. There is something here that almost anyone can relate to. Well done GG!

redheadedslxt: I loved the use of imagery and the incorporation of allowing the reader to "use" all five senses. It evoked a true feeling of summer nostalgia.

Bogeyman: If it could always be summer by graphitegirl is a great example of how to create a poem where the logic and structure don't overshadow the feeling, where the beautiful nostalgic images light up in the reader's mind in a natural progression, almost blending into each other, where the feeling created can resonate in just about anyone's heart... well, maybe anyone over 30...lol, because let's face it - years do fly by so fast... great stuff!

Chameleon: This poem is easily my favorite of them all. Graphitegirl transcends the subject given to write a poem that is more than a list of evocative images. The images chosen are all those moments that seem timeless when you're in the middle of them - very well-chosen for that. This is more than just a nostalgic look back at summer's past. It's a statement about growing older, that it wouldn't matter so much if every moment could be lived like those moments in summer when you are so totally -living- them that they seem timeless and endless. Lovely write, evocative, emotional and lyrical.

Rio: This is a fantastic poem. The content and imagery are rich. It is so vivid it pulls the reader into experiencing the poem more than reading it. It has added interest woven in as the contrasts between summer and fall do not put fall in a negative light. This aspect made it enjoyable on both a more superficial level, as well as something to return to ponder again and again.

RZS: Nicely wrought nostalgic reverie invoking the seasonal metaphor of life's progression. Images are adroitly drawn, even if a bit stereotypical. I enjoyed this poem, though found the ending few lines less polished than the rest.

Thank you to all the participants. The karma points have been transferred to all the participants and winners.

Thank you to our judges - John, Chameleon, Loisseau, Rio, Bogeyman, RZS, brownbwi, redheadedslxt and Rebel_Darlin.

Thank you Ash for getting the winner's badge done for us.

What a pleasant surprise to find this on my email this rainy Sunday morning! Congratulations to Zbird, Bfaulkner, Foggle, and gg, you guys ROCK. Reading everyone's pieces was such a nice way to spend a Sunday morning.

Teech

Congrats to all the well-deserved winners, and thanks for the excellent work of the judges. GotPoetry is in good hands.

Congrats all and thanks to the judges for the insightful comments; I always felt that this particular piece, though I liked the idea behind it, didn't flow well--now I know it was the adverbs! These were all a great read; I agree Huberjack!

Congratulations to all that participated. It was an inspiring theme and the interpretations were beautiful. I enjoyed reading each one of them. Thanks for all of the judges comments and the time it took to write them all. And special thanks to Ash and all the flare!