Judge this Poem
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Forums > > Poetry Workshops > > Small Poems > > I, he, she, it, we, you, they...
I, he, she, it, we, you, they...
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Humanicide
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 Posted: Tue Jan 18 4:16:57 EST 2011 Post subject: I, he, she, it, we, you, they... |
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i talk to me, myself agrees
that we are not just less than three
we are me and you're us too
we're altogether me and you
myself and i are just as well
where you and i began and fell
the we i see - myself and me
the way we see our she and he
a soul one clone of you i am
we're two as one, a one that's grand
yourself and we are more than us
together we are one more plus
without a me or you, you see
our we of us could never be
you're me, myself, our inner being
two halves, a whole, a we-type-thing.
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wylde
And for a moment, it was like joy was
  
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mamta
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| Posted: Tue Jan 18 10:24:07 EST 2011 Post subject: Re: I, he, she, it, we, you, they... |
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seconding what wylde said. great wordplay.
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induce
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| Posted: Tue Jan 18 11:08:39 EST 2011 Post subject: Re: I, he, she, it, we, you, they... |
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yes! eye 3rd that. Haris you have a stunner here, wordplay... always a key i enjoy.
keep penning man
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judih
Has written an Occasional poem or two.
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| Posted: Tue Jan 18 11:09:09 EST 2011 Post subject: Re: I, he, she, it, we, you, they... |
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tight - focused- ready to satellite around the planet (with aplomb)
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questionajourney
Wrote Lyric Verse at least once.
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| Posted: Wed Jan 26 19:34:43 EST 2011 Post subject: Re: I, he, she, it, we, you, they... |
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very nice...the feel was not overshadowed by the cool, smooth flow...all tied in well i think.
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Humanicide
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Deleted_User_6308
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| Posted: Sun Feb 6 0:52:25 EST 2011 Post subject: Re: I, he, she, it, we, you, they... |
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end was a little weak I think, for a write so fine...................
I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together
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Humanicide
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iwrite
Finds Beauty in Everything
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| Posted: Tue Apr 26 17:07:37 EDT 2011 Post subject: Re: I, he, she, it, we, you, they... |
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Haris, have you hacked into my head? This sounds like a conversation I would have with myself.
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alana
Galileo is laughing at you from on high
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| Posted: Wed Apr 27 8:56:32 EDT 2011 Post subject: Re: I, he, she, it, we, you, they... |
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you are the pronoun guru!
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wylde
And for a moment, it was like joy was
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| Posted: Thu Apr 28 7:36:52 EDT 2011 Post subject: Re: I, he, she, it, we, you, they... |
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| Humanicide wrote: |
lash, any suggstions to the ending?
i literally just wrote it, there has yet to be any editing |
you're me, myself, our inner being
two halves, a whole, symbiotically.
?
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electrictiger
And for a moment, it was like joy was
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| Posted: Fri Apr 29 7:04:35 EDT 2011 Post subject: Re: I, he, she, it, we, you, they... |
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I quite loved this. Perhaps not the end of the last line, but all the same a delirious read. maybe 'intermingling'
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