Beyond our knowing,
stars move through the sky,
and heaven sweeps up the tears of love
making rainbows to comfort the woebegone.

Beyond our knowing,
birds sing the sun down and up
wind sweeps up the day's dust
readying the world for sleep.

Beyond our knowing
time ticks off our years,
until we're done with sunrise and sunset
becoming one with all that is together.

Beyond our knowing
Spiders spin, life moves in rivers
all adown the ways to be
while we in our littleness flow with its tide.

This is a very beautiful poem, one of your best. Just a couple of small things:

S3L4 seems rather awkward, it's difficult for me to give a meaning to the phrase "all that is together", and "becoming one with" is a phrase that's been overused, almost a cliche nowadays.

Likewise S4L3 is a bit hard to interpret and the word "adown" is unfamiliar to me.

How's this work for that troublesome verse? I like it better myself.

Beyond our knowing
time ticks off our years,
until we're done with sunrise and sunset
adding our bit of dust to all the rest.

Adown is just an archaic word I remember from my days as a folk singer, I believe it is another form of down. I simply liked the sound of it. Do you think it is too strange? I can drop the a. Thanks for your help and your commenting. Warmly, Tasha

Pujakins wrote:

How's this work for that troublesome verse? I like it better myself. Beyond our knowing time ticks off our years, until we're done with sunrise and sunset adding our bit of dust to all the rest. Adown is just an archaic word I remember from my days as a folk singer, I believe it is another form of down. I simply liked the sound of it. Do you think it is too strange? I can drop the a. Thanks for your help and your commenting. Warmly, Tasha

That's a big improvement to S3. Changing "adown" to "down" is better for me, although I still have a problem understanding "all down the ways to be" - perhaps "down all the ways to be" might work better?

OK, I think you are probably right and my use of the tumbled sentence is too obscure. So now I will have it thus:

Beyond our knowing,
stars move through the sky,
and heaven sweeps up the tears of love
making rainbows to comfort the woebegone.

Beyond our knowing,
birds sing the sun down and up
wind sweeps up the day's dust
readying the world for sleep.

Beyond our knowing
time ticks off our years,
until we're done with sunrise and sunset
adding our bit of dust to all the rest.

Beyond our knowing
Spiders spin, life moves in rivers
down all the ways to be
while we in our littleness flow with its tide.

I appreciate your guidance. Warm thanks, with a hug, Tasha