The day my Reaper comes for me,
will he accost me by surprise,
or notify me in advance

that I may bid the long goodbyes,
correct some adverse circumstance,
petition God on bended knee?

Does Death appear by fate, or chance?
Is he a friend, or enemy?
Will he enjoy my lover's cries,

or feel a tinge of sympathy
as windblown ashes fall and rise
and scatter in a great expanse?



Copyright © 2012 by Hugh Lemma- All rights reserved



Notes: This poem is my first attempt at a form I am calling gambade, which means a forward leap or spring. It is usually an equestrian term.

The form is as follows:

abc, bca, cab, abc

Line a seems to leapfrog lines b and c to form S2. Then line b leapfrogs lines c and a to form S3. This continues until the final stanza is the same sequence as the first.

Variations are possible, of course. Line a could be a refrain, for example. I wanted to keep it simple to start.

It is possible that this has been done before, but I cannot recall seeing it.

Most importantly, though..does the poem itself work? All comments welcome.

Wow! Hugh this form is quite the challenge! I will enjoy attempting it. This poem is original, unique, and fresh. I love it!

Hey Gail! It's good to see you. How are you?

I know nothing about form but it's a gorgeous poem!
...-in a great expanse- is the only thing that catches with me.
There's something there out there for this little bit.
But delightful...!

Thanks. I was thinking of ashes dumped from an urn into the air, perhaps from a hill into a valley. I may edit slightly.

Yes, saw the same, it's such a beautiful poem, I get lost in the vast expanse of the ending! It's gonna be difficult though because it's such a little gem - you don't have much space to maneouver...!

I'm looking you up now because you obviously write well - have to make sure I'm not putting my foot in my mouth!

I have to write this one with the self imposed constraints of rhyme and meter, so my choices for edits are obviously limited. But I don't mind a challenge, and prefer honest opinions like yours.

This is very good. I enjoyed the wordplay, it comes tightly together!

Thanks for that. I'm glad you liked it.

Edit (opening line). Also, the new title will be "A Mortal's Gambade"



The Reaper has a claim on me-
will he accost me by surprise,
or notify me in advance

that I may bid the long goodbyes,
correct some adverse circumstance,
petition God on bended knee?

Does Death appear by fate, or chance?
Is he a friend, or enemy?
Will he enjoy my lover's cries,

or feel a tinge of sympathy
as windblown ashes fall and rise
and scatter in a great expanse?

Love the second one. Awesome.