To Recline Upon the Heavens

As we consider the proper
circumstance for this glorious
retelling of such allegory
originally reserved for
secret societies within
the confines of arcane burrows,
I want to make absolutely
certain this tale will be believed.

Stupendously great events have
taken place in relation to
high minded ideals we find both
engaging and compelling and
yes, even a bit disruptive.

Make yourself suitably composed
and we shall define this mythos.

Known, of course, are inscrutable
elephants and the abiding
mastery they display every
year as, steadfast, they journey North,
South, East, and West searching in an
ocean of wild jungle and plain
until they discover that one
location where they might rest a
bit and start their meditation.

Laboriously they settle,
each inspecting their table for
enticing fare and sumptuous
delicacies that will stave the
siren calls of hunger as they
open their minds to the thoughts and
musings required to solve the
unsolvable and finally
capture the dreams that will foment
happiness, friendship, and comfort.

Does the significance of this
occasion impress you with the
importance of your place in the
design or do you view this as
effectively disposable;
similar to napkins made of
paper, used once and thrown away?

I cannot see your reaction.

So, we spoon feed the knowledge to
everyone in hopes that kindness,
that sweet milk of human nature,
has the grand opportunity
envisioned by these indulgent
masters of guileless reflection.

--------------------------------------
Firstly, harsh critique is welcome.

Now, as to what this is, what I am looking for:

Firstly, this is a distraction. There is no meaning in the poem itself. Some folks, when they realise what is going on, get annoyed at me.

The piece is a tetrameter blank verse writing exercise to create an acrostic that include the words "milk, elephant, napkin, spoon, and ocean."

I am not a fan of acrostics. Nor am I a fan of pretentious poetry pretending meaning through senseless word pairings. So, this poem is a satire of a style I dislike and an approach I dislike.

That has, apparently, offended folks.

Since you have advised the reader to not work so hard trying to find meaning here, I was able to settle in and enjoy the ride. It was fun, and as a satire it works.

No offense here. I generally don't care for acrostics either..they seem gimmicky to me. But this one is better than most, even as it makes fun of the genre.

With all that said, I don't know how to suggest edits for a poem that eschews literal meaning and standard meter in favor of intentionally purple and convoluted verse.

In short, kudos.

I agree with fogglethorpe. There is no way to rewrite a poem that wasn't written to make sense and also in rewriting an acrostic it would be tempting to change some of the beginning words with would render it no longer an acrostic. I would not have recognized this as an acrostic since the words are broken up so much it was difficult to decipher the acrostic words.

But I do like it and had fun reading it . I guess I don't understand why it would offend people. It was written tongue in cheek and should be read that way.

I have to agree. I guess my only comment is it seems awfully long for the amount to be conveyed, but maybe that's part of the fun.

I think it's rather disingenuous to say that the poem has no meaning. Obscure, yes, but not meaningless. And for that matter, less obscure than a lot of modern poetry. The fact that it's an acrostic seems irrelevant and rather pointless. As a satire on acrostics, or even on pretentious poetry, I don't think it works. As a serious poem, it is quite good with the use of the elephant metaphor.

We create and express ourselves in many ways and are not totally satisfied with ourselves. We also try too hard to find an identity and uniqueness in our writing styles.

To me many lines don't fit the title if that's what didn't make sense. Just envision your topic and take your time editing it when mulling over the details.
You should be fine

Nelson