Dishes clang against the sink
Loud reverberations of ceramic against metal

Anger defies the covenant to avoid clashes
Sealed with tears and kisses

Raspy is this stone of hurt
Lumped in her throat

There is no easy atonement
to distract and soothe

Her rant finds no audience
Memories fade of what stoked this fire


I’d like some reaction. I can’t decide if this communicates or not.

It communicates very well for me. There's a lot to like about it. The only thing I could find a small fault with is the word "raspy" which is an odd word and not quite apt, I think, to describe the feel of a stone. Otherwise, fine work!

Thanks for the comment. I will look for a better word. Good feedback

I love this poem.
Just one doubt, about the last line.

"Her rant finds no audience
Memories fade of what stoked this fire"


The problem with most ladies is...such memories refuse to fade.

Love this. Also, I very much love the title.

I've read this a few times and even come back to reread. I really can't find anything that needs fixed or changed. this is an excellent write. if you want a different word than raspy as ozymandias suggested how about gravelly. and I have to respectfully disagree with deepali that with most ladies memories refuse to fade... the last verse works perfectly because that is generally what happens... we get so angry and then realize later we don't even know why we are angry... lol! I really like this one!

A fine poem, Bill. I found the two line structure a bit choppy, but conveys the anger. I haven't much in the way of suggestions, other than more pronouns and punctuation.

Perhaps - ideas to use or lose:

The dishes clanged as she washed them,
reverberations of ceramic and metal, anger

defying the covenant to avoid clashes,
sealed with tears and kisses.

Raspy and lumped in her throat, a stone of hurt
with no easy atonement to distract and soothe.

Her rant finds no audience, while memories
fade of what stoked this fire.

Jim

It defiantly communicates.

For Crying Out Loud!

To Me

Nelsoin