Need to urgently......breathe.....

January 18, 2006
1:25a.m.
mood: admitting to crazy

I am fighting for air in this shell....screaming from the inside...afraid to make steps, cuz all come with this linger of "u have no idea do you?"....mocking my existence here...making me vile...rotting on the inside.....wat will be left for my children...as my body takes this trance my words have never seemed so clear....here I can jump in and be free....free of her and her and him and her and him and them....them ppl touched me they did....left their reeking souls on me.....made me turn into a monster.....I am a pretty monster....riddled in my own pain....riddled in my own pain.....its like knifes in there....tearing at my words....my ambition....snatching me back there to the pits.....the pits that you feel in the middle of the night, and you are and will be forever amazed.....forever in a trance....never able to shake the feelings of skin touching your skin....and they say crazy ppl don’t know wen their crazy.....shit I been knew....I knew wen I enjoyed mouthing young men to stroke my ego....wen playing with vintage....never meant u was alone....but they just wanted a taste.....touch....steal my innocence so that I can treat love as my play tool now...abusing the privilege....so I can make ppl move in ways that point that way....not towards me.......but the other way......wat can you do you know...keep acting like you not crazy.....yeah that’s wats best....but in the end.....they can find me if they like.....free

~DaEnChantedOne~©