thanks!

I like the idea of this poem. This is my favorite from what I’ve read from you so far. Thanks.

REWRITE for Tony's Challenge @ www.gotpoetry.com/Foru...html#66870

-need to rip the clothes off of this, adverbs, adjectives etc... silly me cant identify em all...

She, a Picasso blue,
in basement
storage where
pipes leak
blood-rust onto
her head.

Upside down
cones of brown
split an eyebrow
then dim halos
of sphere lamps
atop cylinder posts
pile driven on cheeks.

Shadows appear
in geometric
progression
on her bottom lip--
broken lines
which were once
a mouth,
too abstract
for his taste,

which is why
he kept her off
the markets
until he died.

Wow. Very different poem! I like both versions. What do you think?

Different indeed. You constantly amaze me with the way you're able to reshape the same basic image into a myriad of meanings and poems. I think this meets the terms of Tony's challenge, even though a few adjectives remain.

yay! actually this is an effect of immersing myself in GP these past 3 months
I love the forums and lately, thanks to GP's random button, I came across a lot of similar themes as the old version I was kinda hittin my head with "ugh rax, you wrote cliche unknowingly" hehe so after immersing myself with the finished poems section and the cool timing of tony's challenge, i came up with this.

on a side note, the coffee shop thread on ratings is really an important issue we should fix, coz digging through the poems consumed a lot of time before I could learn enough about myself. ratings would help sort through the poems at a faster speed help people eager to learn other styles easier.

thanks tony for the writing prompt, we should have more of those, especially since I agree with cham's comment on the "so you wanna be a writer" thread that practicing ones writing is good so one can do justice to the poem one "must" write once it does come along.

I love GP *grin*