#1: Forgetfulness Author: arpeggio, Posted: Mon Jan 16 18:02:11 EST 2006 ---- I'm forgetting your smile
ripe and wide as a melon slice
along with your constellation
of freckles, where I traced Andromeda
I renounce the memory of your breasts
and your sweet peach scent
Away with the image of your ankle
and it's brown and tiny mole
Down the drain with the day we spun
circles in the summer grass
til that hilltop became the center
of a drunken, dizzy universe
You can keep it, or give it away
I've released it and let it fall
Along with every last recollection
of your crooked little toe
Time has run out on your birthmark
and it's purple hourglass shape
All that you are shrinks in the rearview
with your hungry arms holding air
Only empty rectangles remain in my mind
where I took down your portraits
And the slow fading howl of your fingertip
spinning on a wineglass rim
Last edited by arpeggio on Tue Jan 17 19:23:52 EST 2006; edited 2 times in total
#2: Re: Forgetfulness Author: Tony, Posted: Mon Jan 16 19:08:59 EST 2006 ---- dynamite. again with the final image! love it.
#3: Re: Forgetfulness Author: John, Location: Rhode IslandPosted: Mon Jan 16 19:29:04 EST 2006 ---- Holy shit! This was captivating. I really see this poem as well as hear it.
I love your concrete work.
#4: Re: Forgetfulness Author: redheadedslxt, Location: in your head.Posted: Mon Jan 16 22:07:06 EST 2006 ---- i'd have to agree with Tony and John. I love this piece. Great imagery.
#5: Re: Forgetfulness Author: hotstuff, Location: At your window, let me in. Open up and let's begin...Posted: Tue Jan 17 12:03:59 EST 2006 ---- OMG, I love how descriptive this is! Reminds us of all the little things we love about our significant others...or hate to remember.
#6: Re: Forgetfulness Author: natey, Location: Thrifty Chicken Super CenterPosted: Tue Jan 17 13:32:48 EST 2006 ---- definately awesome. too late to put in the anthology?
whattaya holdin out on us apreggio?!
#7: Re: Forgetfulness Author: PoemBunny, Location: Greenacres, KansasPosted: Tue Jan 17 13:39:05 EST 2006 ---- Hi, newbie here. I think your poem showed excellent attention to detail, one of my personal imperatives for a great poem.
I felt I could visualize as well as experience the mood of the poem.
#8: Re: Forgetfulness Author: iwrite, Location: FloridaPosted: Tue Jan 17 14:24:46 EST 2006 ---- How flattering it must be to be remembered so intensely. I think this is a artwork.
#9: Re: Forgetfulness Author: Lark, Location: Lima, PeruPosted: Tue Jan 17 15:01:57 EST 2006 ---- Expertly done, as one has come to expect of your work! (Maybe there should be a "fallen through the cracks" anthology for such.)
#10: Re: Forgetfulness Author: sunshinekityravr, Posted: Tue Jan 17 19:11:33 EST 2006 ---- Well, I had many of things to say about this, but they have all been said so perfectly by everyone else.
This really was great.
#11: Re: Forgetfulness Author: brownbwi, Posted: Tue Jan 17 20:27:33 EST 2006 ---- i'll jump onboard the crowded wagon. good piece. i dig the line breaks too.
#12: Re: Forgetfulness Author: arpeggio, Posted: Tue Jan 17 21:40:16 EST 2006 ---- Thanks Lords and Ladies!
I got lucky with this one. It just fell into two line stanzas of it's own accord. The associations were fun.
Andromeda is also known as "The chained lady"
hourglass tattoo hints at a "black widow" nature
'hungry arms holding air" reinforces "empty rectangles" in the next line.
there's a lot of alliteration in this too. more than I've ever used in a poem.(down/drain/day spun/circles/summer etc)
the details: tiny brown mole, crooked little toe etc. I figure it's the small things that are the most tightly grasped by the mind.
Esp. "defects". There was a girl in fourth grade who had one eye with a pupil that was slit shaped like a cat's eye. Some kids teased her but I thot it was beautiful, special, and mysterious. I've forgotten all those kid's faces except for hers. I can even picture the jungle gym and color of the walls there. All the peripheral details I recall are tied to her magic eye.