Open Spaces

The grasslands and hillsides of the western expanse
Continue to isolate despite man's advance
In technical gadgets and cellular gear,
Designed for inhabitants of modern frontier.
The sheer open spaces can simply transcend
All manner of contact one tries to extend.

With many reclusive, spending lifetimes alone,
Preferring escape from what society's prone,
The violent nature of the urbanites' lives
Depicted in newscasts with their guns, chains and knives.
A rural, unruffled ranch homestead or farm
Can keep their contentment from coming to harm.


Copyright © 2007 by Jack Huber

Its a good poem but I think it comes across as too heavy handed in regards to the urbanites. Toned down in regards to the depiction of the urban dwellers might make it more accessable to the two sides of living that you are depicting.

Thanks, John. I see what you are saying, but I'm really depicting both sides from the ruralite point of view, which can be rather harsh towards the "city".

The meter isn't perfect, but I've added a stanza to give city dwellers equal time...

Open Spaces

The grasslands and hillsides of the western expanse
Continue to isolate despite man's advance
In technical gadgets and cellular gear,
Designed for inhabitants of modern frontier.
The sheer open spaces can simply transcend
All manner of contact one tries to extend.

With many reclusive, spending lifetimes alone,
Preferring escape from what society's prone,
The violent nature of the urbanites' lives
Depicted in newscasts with their guns, chains and knives.
A rural, unruffled ranch homestead or farm
Can keep their contentment from coming to harm.

Most cityfolks live their industrial lives
Without thinking twice about how one survives,
As citizens go they are mostly sincere
And care about neighbors and friends they hold dear,
But living in backwoods or on desolate land
Is simply so futile they would not understand.


Copyright © 2007 by Jack Huber

Quote:

...living in backwoods or on desolate land Is simply so futile ...

I personally don't think futile is the right word. Living in the backwoods should be more noble than futile. I really want a more positive word there. Simply so grand. Simply so benevolent. Simply so godhead. Simply so beautiful.

You get the idea.

How about his as a compromise:

But living in backwoods or on desolate land
Is simply so tranquil they would not understand.