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Forums > > Poetry Workshops > > Love Poetry > > Rewind
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Rewind


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bestusername
Intrigued


Intrigued



Joined: Mar 31, 2005
Posts: 5
Credits: 1
Location: Florida

PostPosted: Sat Apr 2 1:17:32 EST 2005    Post subject: Rewind Reply with quote

I came here without you
so im leaving here alone
im not giving in this time
I wont follow you home

I lost your number on the napkin
that you wiped your lips with
after you took a sip of the vanilla coke
that you said tasted just like shit

I wont ask you for it again
to see your devilish grin
I wont hold your hand
when that song comes on
because all the memories come rushing in
just when I thought they were gone

I want to meet you here
introduce myself like the first time
pay less attention to your words
and more to the signs

I want to follow you home like that night
when I knew I’d follow you just about anywhere
I want to tell you all my problems
And feel the way I felt when I thought you’d care

I want to offer you some vanilla coke
show you I’d give you anything I had
hold the napkin your lips kissed
and wish to be even half as lucky as that

I want to ask for your number
fall in love with your smile
as you write it down with a sharpie
and in return ask for mine

I want to hold your hand
soft and smooth with youth
when that r&b song comes on
thinking everything except the truth

I want to meet you here
introduce myself like the first time
pay less attention to the words
and more to the signs

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LoveIsRomance
Wrote Lyric Verse at least once.


Wrote Lyric Verse at least once.



Joined: Apr 11, 2005
Posts: 515
Credits: 1
Location:
In the heart of my beloved.


PostPosted: Wed Apr 13 15:10:50 EDT 2005    Post subject: Re: Rewind Reply with quote

Wow, that's an amazing poem. I really am touched by that. I really like the metaphor in the poem, great job. I also really really like this one section.

"I want to meet you here
introduce myself like the first time
pay less attention to the words
and more to the signs"

That is some awesome stuff. You did a great job, keep writing!

_________________
Pain does not lie in the flesh but in the soul where the blood does not linger.
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iwrite
Finds Beauty in Everything


Staff Picks!


Joined: Apr 05, 2005
Posts: 2080
Credits: 11
Location: Florida

PostPosted: Wed Apr 13 15:22:55 EDT 2005    Post subject: Re: Rewind Reply with quote

Thus far one of the most thought-provoking pieces on this site and you haven't posted half as many as most members. I applaud you!

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Poetry is a mirror which makes beautiful that which is distorted. ~Percy Shelley
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