Sometimes i don't want to live,
I just want to die.
I take a blade to my wrist,
Slice and then i cry.
I want to see myself bleed,
And prove that i am real.
If it means i have to die,
then my life i will steal.
People call me crazy,
and say that i'm a nut.
But if they saw through my eyes,
they'd keep their damn mouths shut.

I don't want to feel like this,
I don't want the pain.
I wanna be like everybody,
i wish that i were sane.
and now my wrists are bleeding,
i made the cuts way too deep.
i reflect on all the things i've done,
and then i start to weep.
i know that i am dying,
the bledding i can't stop.
darkness starts closing in,
and my ears begin to pop.
i wish i hadn't done this,
i wish i went for help.
but now there is no turning back,
look what i've done to myself.
i wanted to commit suicide,
so i guess i just gave in.
but i know if i had really tried,
my thoughts could never win.
i try to call out for help,
from my family and my friends.
but i know it will do no good,
'cuz my life's about to end.
so i decide to lay back,
and wait for my soul to leave.
i think of all my loved one's tears,
i wish they wouldn't grieve.
i just want to take it back,
but there's nothing i can do.
my mother walks into the room,
and i mouth the words, " i love you"
i hear her start crying,
asking what i did.
asking how i could take my life.
saying i'm only a kid.
i didn't think she loved me,
i didn't think she'd care.
but now that i am dying,
i realize she's always there.
she takes my hand into hers,
then i start going numb.
she brushes hair from my face.
how could i be so dumb?
i hear sirens in the distance,
i know they're coming for me.
but by the time they get here,
my soul will finally be free.
almost as if she read my mind.
my mother gave me a kiss.
she says," honey you know i love you,
and you know you'll always be missed".
after hearing her say those words,
i let my mind slip away.
i wish that i could back,
i wish that i stay.
now i know she loves me,
my body is at ease.
my soul has now slipped away,
and the pain has finally ceased.

Expecting

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Holding my heart in my hands
So tiny and so slimy
This warmth that once beat within
Looks nothing like I once
Expected.

Holding that which gives me life
So frail and so resilient
This body that once lived within
Brings emotion I hadn't
Expected.

Holding the future in my arms
So hungry and so loud
A brand new mind in a misshapen
Head caused pain beyond
Expected.

Holding my heart in my hands
Holding that which gives me life
Holding the future in my arms
Forty weeks
Expecting.

Is this the new contest...emotions? If not then someone let me know.

I dont know, but what I do know is that the first post in this thread is plagarized. Ive read that poem before, because its such a good one. You cant expect to go onto a poetry forum and post a widely publicized poem and not expect someone to notice it.

LoSt wrote:

I dont know, but what I do know is that the first post in this thread is plagarized. Ive read that poem before, because its such a good one. You cant expect to go onto a poetry forum and post a widely publicized poem and not expect someone to notice it.

Actually, it's not plagiarized at all. She posted it once before, ages ago, under the title "Suicide."

It's perfectly acceptable here. and no, there's no current contest...

more news about the next one in a day or two.

T

This poet will self destruct in 5 4 3 2 1
Somebody hit me in the fucking face
You need a reason?
Step a little closer I will throw the first blow
But I am liable to cold-cock your ass
Somebody stab me with a fucking shank
It will feel so good to bleed all over the place
Somebody find me a man that resembles a wall
So I can piss his ass off and punch him in the balls
I will stand around insult him while the pain subsides
I want to be there when he recomposes himself
See the fire in his eyes
Lean into each and every jab waiting for a left hook or uppercut
The pain will feel so good
It is truly what I crave
Fuck it! I will just step in front of a bus
And let it send me to my grave.

Whether the poet posted it or not, Ive seen it before somewhere besides this poetry forum, so if its posted before its plagarised twice. I can go find the original author if need be.

LoSt wrote:

Whether the poet posted it or not, Ive seen it before somewhere besides this poetry forum, so if its posted before its plagarised twice. I can go find the original author if need be.

then, please do. seriously. plagiarism is serious stuff.

Good call Lost, let us know whatcha find, eh?

Everything I found indicates blairwitch is the original author... and I'm a good net dective with this sort of thing.

i know she wrote it i've read it in her journal...

LoSt wrote:

Whether the poet posted it or not, Ive seen it before somewhere besides this poetry forum, so if its posted before its plagarised twice. I can go find the original author if need be.

I haven't had a chance to get on much so I haven't been able to defend myself against Lost...

I write the poem "Suicide" when I was 16. That would be 6 years ago. I take offense to the charge that it's plagurized(pardon the spelling). If you have read it on other sites(very likely) it's because I've put them on other sites. Though gotpoetry was the First site I put it on, it was not the last. It has also been published in a local newspaper and a few books. You can find it under the name "Jessica Napoli" if you feel the need to do a search for the "original" author. You can then reference the picture of the "original" author to the picture I have posted of me and also if you need further proof, you can reference those pictures to the ones on my myspace. www.myspace.com/kazazaria. If there are any other questions as to who wrote that poem, please feel free to ask me. I would be more than happy to offer indisputable evidence that I wrote it. And thank you to those of you who stuck up for me on those charges!!!

Well gee.... welcome back Blair_witch. I hope you'll stick around.
I know I would have been very bothered by that allegation also. I'm glad you set the record straight.

RZS wrote:

Well gee.... welcome back Blair_witch. I hope you'll stick around. I know I would have been very bothered by that allegation also. I'm glad you set the record straight.

Thank you RZS. I will definately try to get on more often. I have been so busy lately with my 3 kids and going to school full time but I really miss reading and posting my poetry, so signing on more often is now making it to my list of priorities.