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Forums > > Poetry Workshops > > Small Poems > > A somnolent heart
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A somnolent heart

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haymanali
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PostPosted: Sun Nov 1 16:36:38 EST 2009    Post subject: A somnolent heart Reply with quote
My somnolent heart
soaring in its drowsy dreams
drowned in your glances
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mamta
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PostPosted: Sun Nov 1 22:59:53 EST 2009    Post subject: Re: A somnolent heart Reply with quote
nice senryu.

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Bogeyman
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 2 8:25:52 EST 2009    Post subject: Re: A somnolent heart Reply with quote
agree with mamta, very nice. one minor nit - drowsy feels a bit redundant after somnolent.

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haymanali
Has the Poetry Bug


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 8 12:47:36 EST 2009    Post subject: Re: A somnolent heart Reply with quote
@ mamta

Thanks for your observation.

@ Bogeyman

Thanks. I think that life is a insistent redundancy.
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