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Forums > > Poetry Workshops > > Post a poem > > Umm, could you unzip my pants, please?
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Umm, could you unzip my pants, please?


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Bogeyman
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 5 17:54:29 EST 2009    Post subject: Umm, could you unzip my pants, please? Reply with quote

This broken arrow is my own damn fault -
I fell on it when tripped while walking backwards.
And so is this black eye – I’m truly awkward –
just didn’t realize my world was walled.

Arm in a sling? This was another time -
my brittle bones gave way when met with concrete.
I was upset, impatient and hungry,
but so determined to unlock my mind.

The ax embedded in my chest is there
because I tried to reason with a psycho
enraged inside my aching chest and I could
not wait for help. So it is only fair

that I’m now handicapped beyond repair –
a total loss. Don't tell me you don’t care.

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Last edited by Bogeyman on Fri Nov 6 12:35:55 EST 2009; edited 1 time in total
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Beauty_In_Pain
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 5 22:12:15 EST 2009    Post subject: Re: Umm, could you unzip my pants, please? Reply with quote

I actually really liked this. Awsome!

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Bogeyman
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PostPosted: Fri Nov 6 11:32:39 EST 2009    Post subject: Re: Umm, could you unzip my pants, please? Reply with quote

many thanks, BIP!

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PostPosted: Fri Nov 6 12:18:51 EST 2009    Post subject: Re: Umm, could you unzip my pants, please? Reply with quote

this is awesome.

quite a catchy title B. a sonnet is it? they have to rhyme or sonnets need not necessarily rhyme?

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Bogeyman
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PostPosted: Fri Nov 6 12:34:35 EST 2009    Post subject: Re: Umm, could you unzip my pants, please? Reply with quote

many thanks, mamta!

yep, this is a sonnet. and it rhymes - abba, cddc, effe, ee.

i'm always experimenting with sonnets, but i usually rhyme them.

glad you like it! Smile

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