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Forums > > Poetry Workshops > > Post a poem > > Moment Capture---.002
Moment Capture---.002
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butterflyzrfree
Told love the world was on fire
Joined: Jan 17, 2009
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Location: Miami,FL
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 Posted: Tue Mar 20 2:43:44 EDT 2012 Post subject: Moment Capture---.002 |
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we try so hard to make it work
every day on our lives.
we get up and
all we do it try.
And a lot of days it doesn't work
anyway.
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fogglethorpe
Who knew we would get this far?
     
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| Posted: Tue Mar 20 16:20:44 EDT 2012 Post subject: Re: Moment Capture---.002 |
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Hi Gail..I caught two typos. L2, "on" should be "of"..L4, "it" should be "is".
And since you are using punctuation, I would begin "we" with uppercase in L1 and L3.
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Treagal
And for a moment, it was like joy was
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| Posted: Tue Mar 20 20:43:54 EDT 2012 Post subject: Re: Moment Capture---.002 |
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there's something so hasty about the idea here that juxtaposes so nicely with the toil and hardship of making it work.
lovely Gail.
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butterflyzrfree
Told love the world was on fire
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Location: Miami,FL
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| Posted: Sat Apr 21 4:58:03 EDT 2012 Post subject: Re: Moment Capture---.002 |
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Thanks Hugh, and Treagel! I will make the correction and post.
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