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Forums > > Poetry Workshops > > Post a poem > > How Does Your Pain Feel????
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How Does Your Pain Feel????


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butterflyzrfree
Starved and screamed and ate mad dogs


Starved and screamed and ate mad dogs
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 16 9:08:19 EDT 2012    Post subject: How Does Your Pain Feel???? Reply with quote

skeletons
razor
saw
pull eyeballs out
hot tongs
lightening strikes
razor
no shame
saw
electric shock
maximum volume
saw razor
raw
arms removed
chew
dead hippo in river
on top of my face
dead
skeleton
constant
electric
pain
raw
pain
screams
jabjabjab
electric
skeleton jaw
pain constant
stop please god
electric
lightening strikes
a hundred times
in the same
place

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Last edited by butterflyzrfree on Mon Apr 16 12:03:34 EDT 2012; edited 2 times in total
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wordsmithwannabe
The first hundred years are the hardest


The first hundred years are the hardest
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 16 11:11:57 EDT 2012    Post subject: Re: How Does Your Pain Feel???? Reply with quote

i like the fast pace and the irregularity at which the poem moves, descending down the page to the last 4 lines, which i think sum up the feeling perfectly. good broken fingers styling here.

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butterflyzrfree
Starved and screamed and ate mad dogs


Starved and screamed and ate mad dogs
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 16 11:49:00 EDT 2012    Post subject: Re: How Does Your Pain Feel???? Reply with quote

Chris: I thank you so much for your response. This pain is real. I have attacks in y mouth of trigeminal neuralgia, (widipedia) which is excruciating mouth pain. I am afraid to eat but hot coffee and tea help, I hope to have this take care of, usually takes an injection into the face. At least I got a good poem out of it! Sad

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fogglethorpe
Who knew we would get this far?


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 16 11:49:37 EDT 2012    Post subject: Re: How Does Your Pain Feel???? Reply with quote

Hi Gail..I echo Chris.

The only thing I will add is that "lightening" should be "lightning".

I hope you will be feeling better soon.

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Moonlight is bleeding from out of your soul
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butterflyzrfree
Starved and screamed and ate mad dogs


Starved and screamed and ate mad dogs
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 30 1:18:06 EDT 2012    Post subject: Re: How Does Your Pain Feel???? Reply with quote

Thanks Hugh. Me too! Wink

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