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Rate this poem:4.9 / 24 votes


Gone but not forgotten
4


When I lost you
grief arrived with a twin
One asked
 that I mourn who you were
The other
that I mourn who you could have been
My heart feels torn in two
Half of me is buried with you
The other half
Lives on honoring you
I think of all our short memories fondly
But i still long to see your grin
The parts of your story left untold
It's the "what if's," that hurt the most
And how happy we could have been
I don't think my heart can fully mend
But I hope you feel all the love that I send
I know it's silly
but I look for signs of you
Little reminders or messages
To me from you
Like, when I look up at the grey clouds
And then I see the sun break through
I hope you can see me looking up at you
And when you look down on me
I want you to see
My smile
And how strong you've made me
To smile
 when you feel like breaking
To laugh
through your heart aching
To learn
to go on without you
That is the hardest lesson
 I've ever had to do
I know, now,
I can get through anything
So, if you're up there looking down on me
I want to give you something good to view
So, I'm going to work at being a better me
And that's the way I'll continue to honor you

About this poem

Last year my sister had a baby. His name was Elliott and she was happier than I had ever seen her to be a mom. But sadly 3 weeks after his birth, he mysteriously passed away suddenly in her arms. I watched my sister and her husband go from being happier than they had ever been to completely devastated confused angry and depressed. It broke my heart to see how much pain they were in knowing there was nothing that could be done to help. I watched them completely fall appart and then they slowly picked themselves back up and put their life back together. On Elliott's birthday I wrote this for him, my sister, her husband, my dad, and everyone in our family missing Elliott. 

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Written on January 19, 2025

Submitted by Akartist907 on January 21, 2025

Modified by Akartist907 on February 24, 2025

1:18 min read
6,234 Views

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Discuss the poem Gone but not forgotten with the community...

43 Comments
  • twiztidsol69
    Saaad poem I like
    LikeReply13 hours ago
  • twiztidsol69
    Amazing poen
    LikeReply13 hours ago
  • watson_haziee_25
    i wish
    LikeReply17 hours ago
  • Benny11
    Nice poem. It get your attention from the onset:
    'When I lost you
    grief arrived with a twin
    One asked
    that I mourn who you were
    The other
    that I mourn who you could have been
    My heart feels torn in two
    Half of me is buried with you
    The other half
    Lives on honoring you'
     
    LikeReply 11 day ago
  • PriscillaKing
    Twin griefs is a vivid image of why a child's death hurts more than an adult's.
    LikeReply 13 days ago
  • Masi
    I love how the ending suggested that you were changing and working on yourself out of love for the baby, and keeping up your family obligation to a child growing up in Heaven.
    LikeReply 14 days ago
  • daniel.bristol
    Though I do not share the pain of losing a child, I do share the pain of losing someone who's story still consisted of several more unwritten chapters. My sister passed away suddenly and my nephew passed away at the early age of only 28. It becomes the hardest task to just get up and live each day knowing they are not around. This poem was perfectly written and the story needed to be shared of just how to carry on. 
    LikeReply 19 days ago
  • miraculousthemodel
    Nice
    LikeReply 110 days ago
  • razafk
    Nice
    LikeReply 113 days ago
  • dawg4jesus
    One of the most heart breaking stories I've ever heard. Very good.
    LikeReply 216 days ago
  • BellaTheMilkCarton
    This poem is a poignant expression of grief and longing. The narrator speaks of the deep pain of losing someone and the conflicting feelings of mourning both the person they were and the person they could have become. The poet describes a heart that is split in two, with half buried with the lost loved one and the other half continuing to honor them. The narrator goes on to express the difficulty in moving on, and the desire to find signs of the person who has been lost. The final lines convey a sense of resilience and determination, a commitment to honoring the memory of the lost person by becoming a better person and continuing to live a meaningful life 
    LikeReply 117 days ago
  • AmyMMosier
    This feels effortlessly written. "Grief arriving with a twin" is a fantastic line. And certainly, this poem deserves every view.

    But ... I couldn't help notice it needs the last four lines cleaned up.

    "if your up there" - change to you're

    "to work at a being" - remove the double "a" in that line

    These errors are jarring in a piece that is otherwise so smooth.
     
    LikeReply 120 days ago
    • Akartist907
      thank you for the suggestions and did edit it and made the corrections! I wrote the poem all in 1 night and think I was pretty tired by the end which is why I don't think I noticed those errors so thank you for catching them! 
      LikeReply 119 days ago
  • IamGreg
    Beautiful open line,
    Just amazing
    LikeReply 123 days ago
  • EdwinRayTanguma
    There is a saying about when life gives you lemons…Anywho…

    https://youtu.be/UgJowjfeBaQ
    LikeReply 124 days ago
  • philmaund
    "Grief arrived with a twin" -- what a powerful metaphor!
    LikeReply 124 days ago
  • scott.raymond1991
    I keep repeating the opening lines. Very beautiful, had me from the start!
    LikeReply 226 days ago
  • RVN
    wow! look at mine please
    LikeReply 127 days ago
  • RickthePoetWarrior
    A nicely written heartfelt poem. Thank you.
    LikeReply 11 month ago
  • jmkloeble
    It’s really beautiful, Jordane. Your poem shows how hope can help us to slowly heal from the pain of loss. You express your emotions sincerely, without artifice, which helps the reader to connect with your message. 
    LikeReply 11 month ago
  • ThembieAngieeMt
    This is deeply heartfelt and beautifully expresses the weight of grief and love intertwined. The raw honesty makes it so moving, and the idea of honoring a lost loved one by living fully is incredibly powerful. It’s a touching tribute that captures both sorrow and strength. 
    LikeReply 11 month ago
  • donka_k
    A very beautiful, heart-felt and "weighty" in word-choice poem. It must relate to a lot of people.
    LikeReply 11 month ago
  • 7lomy
    Well written
    LikeReply 11 month ago
  • bookerina
    "When I lost you
    grief arrived with a twin
    One asked
    that I mourn who you were
    The other
    that I mourn who you could have been"

    These lines touched me so much. It is so true that we have to mourn both the person we knew who passed away, but also the person that could have become had they lived.

    And reading about your sister's poor baby makes if even more devastating. So sorry for your family's loss.
     
    LikeReply 11 month ago
  • mark.e.s
    That looks amazing, it's so bright it's hard to look at even. I'm so sorry about the story behind that though, sad but an uplifting message.
    LikeReply 11 month ago
  • lbruce12388
    Having lost my mum last year this hit a chord with me, very heartfelt x
    LikeReply 21 month ago
  • TanjaKlaric
    Absolutely beautifully written
    LikeReply 21 month ago
  • Htrout24
    Well written
    LikeReply 21 month ago
  • sundaybiyi5
    I am greatly moved with the apostrophe Mastery of this poem.
    LikeReply 21 month ago
  • Shazzajones112
    Aw lovely poem. Very well written. I am so sorry to read about your loss
    LikeReply 21 month ago
  • Akinpet23
    Well penned.sorry for the loss
    LikeReply 21 month ago
  • Byfaithjaynak
    I love this poem. Sorry for your loss
    LikeReply 21 month ago
  • hillarywendorf
    So moving!
    LikeReply 21 month ago
  • delano
    Nice
    LikeReply 21 month ago
  • susan.brumel
    My heartfelt condolences to you all. Your poem speaks to the most tragic of losses, and hints to the hope for recovery from such a devastating experience. Your sister is lucky to have you to support her at this difficult time. May Elliott’s memory be a blessing for all who loved him. 
    LikeReply 21 month ago
  • ladyygracious
    Nice
    LikeReply 11 month ago
  • Hazel1373
    Love this poem.
    Writing is precise with details
    I experience this too with my sister, she had to push out her son after he was deceased in her and her reality didn't kick in until she saw the Doctors death banding him. Was so tramatic and sad. My heart goes out to you all 
    LikeReply 11 month ago
    • Jordaneg5614
      I'm sorry to hear of your sisters tradegy and for you as well. It was a very helpless feeling for me to know my sister was in an unimaginable pain but it felt like there wasn't anything that could be said or done to help. 
      LikeReply1 month ago
  • BellaTheMilkCarton
    nice
    LikeReply 11 month ago
  • karlcfolkes
    Jordane, I mourn with you, your sister, and other family members. In 1963, as newlyweds and a young couple,
    my wife and I suddenly lost our newborn baby boy child, who suddenly passed away after seven days of life. It was quite devastating for us. But we have since fully recovered and have even been strengthened by the loss. We wish the same for you. 
    LikeReply 11 month ago
    • Jordaneg5614
      I'm so sorry for your loss. Some days I'm not sure if my sister will recover from her loss. But it gives me hope for her to hear that you managed to recovered from a similar loss and you were strengthen for it. I hope my sister and her husband can do the same. 
      LikeReply1 month ago
  • SteveMcNulty
    This kind of loss is extremely hard. All loss is hard. I found gratitude to be a saving grace as I navigated the trauma/grief process. I wish you gratitude and peace.
    LikeReply 11 month ago
  • jn.selvadurai
    So beautiful and touching the heart stings.
    LikeReply 11 month ago
  • ladyygracious
    Well Written
    LikeReply 11 month ago
  • Kverreydt
    Beautiful poem. Created from the soul of your heart .
    LikeReply 11 month ago
  • crucifiedinhim2
    Beautiful expression of loss
    LikeReply 11 month ago

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"Poetry.com" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2025. Web. 15 Mar. 2025. <https://www.poetry.com/>.

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