Who Am I? (free style)

SETTING:
I go to perform at a club I frequent and the new guy at the door doesn't know me yet. He stops me as I'm walking through the door with my CDs and equipment and disrespectfully says to me, "Who the hell do you think you are? I should throw your shit out" So I say...

"Who am I?

Johnny Magnum,

The perfect Hybrid

A blind psychic seeing the future from the past behind my irises eyelids its

The divine sign with hella rhymes I'm

The closest, furthest

from a Dude who's worthless,

Worth his- weight in gold...

And I'm a big ass dude...

I'm the largest, oldest, baddest, boldest, hottest, coldest, dopest, sober nigga on his north east coast shit.

You wanna throw shit?

That's Nasty but I'm the grossest

Cats wanna close to boast

You should already know this

But I'm never in-line waiting,

I got patients because my flow sick"

Now he all red in the face
cause he didn't come prepped when he stepped up

"I crush tomato ass niggas for tryna ketchup(catch up)

You must be tards thinkin you will get a win

I'll miracle whip yo ass,

put my foot in your buns if you don't lettuce(Let Us) in

U get wrapped in plastic bastard

Being on that Atkins diet getting' no dough

Gimme a reason...

And I'll bury his ass in sandwiches(Sand which is) harder to breathe in-

if there's beef man."

By now he sees that I'm in a fit of rage
I spit a page from my rhyme book to get appraised
He's amazed and pages the DJ to pay the wage
I turn back to the bouncer pause and then i say,

"Now do your job and keep the groupies off stage"