Tears And Concrete Streets

Look left, look right
look up, look down
do my shoe-lace up
open my umbrella up
trying to be cheerful in the pouring rain
grinning stupidly at random people
get the odd complimentary nod
look across the street
“yo mate!” complete stranger turns to look
I pick up my pace, confused look
do my coat up further, getting colder
stop outside to window shop
TV sets on and my teams losing
kick a can out of frustration
“sorry officer” anxiously put the can
in the dustbin
and apologize to the kids mother
for my expletives.

Less cheerful now, trying to hide in my coat
avoid eye contact at all costs
embarrassed and ashamed
thinking about illusive love
peace and white doves
pondering existence- look around me
left then right
mountains of concrete streets
and people like me,
dead beats bumbling through life
the older they look
the more wounded their eyes feel on me.

Home now, sat on my bed
Sun rays through net curtains
“ahh that’s better least weathers nicer”
close the gap in the curtain
sit back down on my bed
lie back and wait

…holding back tears.