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Poems

On breakin' in cats. - [ Review ]
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On breakin' in cats.

by marek

Once your new cats
have a coupla' thousand hours on 'em
it's best to service 'em
straight away,
first thing
always
is to rewax 'em,
assuming of course
that you waxed them
in the first place
and if you did'nt
then shame on you,
I know, I know
it's a pain in the ass
but they're just
so much faster
when they're waxed
now' some folks like
them expensive cat waxes
like, Sleek and Speedy
or Kwik Kitty
or Fast and Furrious
but unless you're on
the competitive circuit
I find reg'lar
furniture wax just fine
it keeps their fur dry
if you leave 'em out inna rain
or when you throw 'em
in the pond
when you're teaching 'em
how to fish
now, wax
will reduce the efficacy
of the squirt bottle
when you're trainin' 'em
to stay off counters and tables
or when after countless
reprimands
you come home
and find either
the television or the
computer on
or both,
but wax
does cure hairballs
no more of that
huffa, huffa, huffa, huffa
in your bedroom
in the middle of the night
or in the dining room
when company is over for dinner,
so apart from trimmin' their nails
and docking their tails
or cuttin' patterns in their ears
with them little cuticle scissors
waxin' is the bestest thing
you can do for them at home
after that, they gotta go to the shop
like our two jeezlers,
their timers is buggered
and they're getting up
at 4:30 in the a.m.
an hour before us
and gamboling around
sounding like a herd of cattle
much to the detriment
of our tenants below
whose late night pursuits
and bedtimes apparently coincide
with the cat's awakening
and who have now decided
to eschew the eviction process
and are vacating on their own,
which is good and bad,
I look forward to
peaceful sleep,
I shall miss the drugs.

So I take
the little cavorters
to the cat repair shop
and explain the situation
only to be given the same old line
"It'll be a week or so if we can get the parts."
apparently
all cat timers, these days
is made in China.

marek 27/3/12

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On breakin' in cats.

Added on: 27-Mar-2012 Hits: 124