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Poems - some really stupid things i've heard on t.v. news

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some really stupid things i've heard on t.v. news

by omegapaf

" is he still dead? " - sky news on gaddaffi.
" reporting live from the.....eeerrrr area " - BBC reporter who forgot which country he was in.
" is the ice cold? " - CNN.
" if they hadn't won...they would have lost " - BBC sports reporter.
" now live to the sky news helicopter....which is on the ground ".
" we'll be having lumps of fluffy showers " - BBC weather girl.
" when he fired the gun, was it loaded " - sky news.
" a splattering of roadworks may cause travel difficulties " - BBC radio.
" so bacon is made from pigs? " - breakfast news.
live question to a reporter standing in a blizzard " so is it still snowing? " - BBC breakfast.
" do rattlesnakes make good pets? " - CNN
question to world famous astronomer sir patrick moore " so, are the stars really far away? " - BBC news
tiny girl reporter getting blown off her feet in a hurricane " it's a bit windy here!!! "
" this years art prize will be won by an artist " - BBC breakfast.
" a tribe of monkeys with 1960's cameras could report the news better " - paul fowler.





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Re: some really stupid things i've heard on t.v. news (Score: 1 )
by deepali on Saturday, January 14, 2012 (06:10:03)
Ha..ha.. another funny one! You sure have a good collection!
On a serious note....is anyone anymore reading or listening to news?
warm wishes,
D.

| Parent
    Re: some really stupid things i've heard on t.v. news (Score: 1 )
    by omegapaf on Saturday, January 14, 2012 (08:46:42)
    hiya ali star. i think i'm the only person left that watches CNN...somebody has to ha ha.
    here is another one. i remember a BBC reporter in the middle of the iraq desert giving a report at night saying " it's dark here now, but in the daylight, it'll be....eerr light ". 3 years of journalism school to learn that it's light in the day time ha ha - paul the wandering star.

    | Parent
      Re: some really stupid things i've heard on t.v. news (Score: 1 )
      by deepali on Saturday, January 14, 2012 (08:51:15)
      rotfl!!!
      this one's the best!!

      | Parent

Re: some really stupid things i've heard on t.v. news (Score: 1 )
by TygerTyger on Saturday, January 14, 2012 (07:08:16)
oh paul. you made me laugh so much, real howlers. Brilliant. Well done. Pete. LOl . a 10 and a heart, got to be.

| Parent
    Re: some really stupid things i've heard on t.v. news (Score: 1 )
    by omegapaf on Saturday, January 14, 2012 (08:52:10)
    thanks pete. breakfast t.v. news is the funniest thing on television. do you know that idiot sports reporter on there? he said the other day about a cup football match " if he hadn't missed, he would have scored " ha ha - take care mate - paul and news hound.

    | Parent

Re: some really stupid things i've heard on t.v. news (Score: 1 )
by Phoebe on Saturday, January 14, 2012 (08:35:10)
Seriously hilarious...some mothers do 'ave 'em..!!!.Smile-Phoebe

| Parent
    Re: some really stupid things i've heard on t.v. news (Score: 1 )
    by omegapaf on Saturday, January 14, 2012 (09:05:06)
    thanks phoebe. i don't know what the news channels are like in new zealand, but sky news here is the funniest. i don't know where they get their reporters from....the home for the permanantly baffled, i assume ha ha. they once sent a whole camera crew to the wrong building to cover a trial and missed the whole thing....you can tell it's run by rupert murdoch can't you? - headlines and hound dogs - paul.

    | Parent

Re: some really stupid things i've heard on t.v. news (Score: 1 )
by maryanns on Saturday, January 14, 2012 (16:23:13)
Oh, but I had to laugh because every one of them made me think of Dire Straits' bubble headed beach blond who comes on at five... gives a whole 'nother dimension to the news. Gotta get yer giggles where you can, eh? Smiley faces, Mary Ann

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    Re: some really stupid things i've heard on t.v. news (Score: 1 )
    by omegapaf on Sunday, January 15, 2012 (12:48:38)
    thanks mary ann. some news is reported quite well...but then you've got the sky news reporter today standing in front of that cruise ship that rolled over and partially sunk, saying " the cruise ship appears to have rolled over and partially sunk"...doh!!! ya don't say??...and is the sky blue too? ha ha - live at five, this is paul fowler reporting for hound dog news.

    | Parent

Re: some really stupid things i've heard on t.v. news (Score: 1 )
by kenmoorecowboypoet on Saturday, January 14, 2012 (19:38:46)
Paul's Profundities! Hey, I think it's 'bout time we let the monkeys run the train. Nice collection paints the picture plain ... enjoyed

wabl
kenmoore
cowboypoet

| Parent
    Re: some really stupid things i've heard on t.v. news (Score: 1 )
    by omegapaf on Monday, January 16, 2012 (17:59:10)
    howdy cowboy. tried to send a reply yesterday, but gotpoetry wasn't on it's best behaviour.
    you wouldn't believe how many times an english t.v. reporter can fit the words royal and regal in to a report about the queen ( that's the monarch, not the rock band ha ha ) - paul and the newsworthy hound.

    | Parent

Re: some really stupid things i've heard on t.v. news (Score: 1 )
by butterflyzrfree on Sunday, January 15, 2012 (07:22:20)
Well, are you looking to get rid of the whole bunch and start fresh? I do believe there is a job out there waiting for you!!! Hilarious!!!!!

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    Re: some really stupid things i've heard on t.v. news (Score: 1 )
    by omegapaf on Monday, January 16, 2012 (18:08:01)
    remember when the news actually had news reporters on? and not just the producers mistress, or nephew on it...maybe i'm just old fashioned......but i happen to think that the old ways are the best....because they worked. following mindless celebrities about, telling them how wonderful their new crappy movie is, isn't journalism - the watergate hound.

    | Parent

Re: some really stupid things i've heard on t.v. news (Score: 1 )
by badmalthus on Sunday, January 15, 2012 (23:13:24)
I burst out laughing in a class of 6-7 year olds once when their teacher told them that trees are made of wood...haha. Funny shit there Paul.
Peace & Laughter...Harry

| Parent
    Re: some really stupid things i've heard on t.v. news (Score: 1 )
    by omegapaf on Monday, January 16, 2012 (18:21:06)
    are trees made out of wood harry?....shit!!! so i've been reading saplings all my life....makes sense, they are all full of saps ha ha ( the kids wont understand what " saps " means, but jimmy cagney would. did you ever see that jimmy cagney movie, called " each dawn i die ", where he was a journalist who went to prison for telling the truth about a corrupt politition ) - i'm sure the disney people are hunting me ha ha....but i'm tricky - paul and cartoon hound.

    | Parent

Re: some really stupid things i've heard on t.v. news (Score: 1 )
by Zbird on Thursday, January 19, 2012 (12:27:18)
lmfao! yep, I have heard some good ones... on Martin Luther King day, here in the states, a young local black reporter was talking about upcoming events for... Luther Martin King day. She had no idea who he was! and couldn't even get his name straight.

| Parent
    Re: some really stupid things i've heard on t.v. news (Score: 1 )
    by omegapaf on Monday, January 23, 2012 (15:44:01)
    i don't know where they get these reporters from..i'm surprised it wasn't king luther martin ha ha.
    i can remember a BBC weather girl, who looked about 12 years old saying " it'll either be sunny..or it wont...or it'll be rainy or it won't, or it'll be cloudy, or it wont......in your part of the country"....oooooo ya don't say? i get a better weather forcast from looking out of the window and pointing jessicas tail south - paul and the weather vain hound.

    | Parent

Re: some really stupid things i've heard on t.v. news (Score: 1 )
by K13739 on Thursday, January 26, 2012 (10:09:29)
Hey Paulie, this was much much needed! Thanks for the good laugh. I think my favorite is the question to Sir Patrick Moore. Loved that one!!!! Thanks.

| Parent
    Re: some really stupid things i've heard on t.v. news (Score: 1 )
    by omegapaf on Friday, January 27, 2012 (13:55:40)
    aaawww the questions to astronomers and astronauts that are asked are always toe curlingly embaressing. i remember buzz aldrin being asked about how they go to the toilet in space....the guy had just been to the fricken moon, why would he want to talk about the toilet??? no the wonder neil armstrong stopped giving interviews.
    BBC reporter at the oscars " it was brilliant. it was all brilliant. they were all brilliant. george clooney was brilliant ".....hmmm so it was brilliant then? - paul and the misquoted hound.

    | Parent
      Re: some really stupid things i've heard on t.v. news (Score: 1 )
      by K13739 on Sunday, January 29, 2012 (04:02:34)
      I guess... it was brilliant????? Laughing

      | Parent

Re: some really stupid things i've heard on t.v. news (Score: 1 )
by wolfinwindow on Monday, January 30, 2012 (12:33:35)
Hahahahaha I loved it. You sure saved a good collection of news doozie : Shocked

| Parent
    Re: some really stupid things i've heard on t.v. news (Score: 1 )
    by omegapaf on Monday, January 30, 2012 (22:55:34)
    thanks wolfie.
    " and now, the news from your region....eeerrr wherever you are " - BBC breakfast news.
    - forming a commitee to discuss writing a report about further talks to discuss future negotiations in the middle east....what the f**k? - foxy and the straight talking hound.

    | Parent

Re: some really stupid things i've heard on t.v. news (Score: 1 )
by starstruck13 on Thursday, February 02, 2012 (11:45:09)
this is just tooo funny lol enjoyed this piece

| Parent
    Re: some really stupid things i've heard on t.v. news (Score: 1 )
    by omegapaf on Thursday, February 02, 2012 (18:18:38)
    thanks star.
    a classic from sky news " the egyptian military are the ones in the military uniforms "....oh, really??? - paul.

    | Parent

Re: some really stupid things i've heard on t.v. news (Score: 1 )
by BrokenWordsPoet on Saturday, February 04, 2012 (12:56:53)
Glad I am not the only one that listens for these bumblers. Then the news caster are only reading cards and are pressed for their time on air and one only thinks the news caster is the bumbler. Local news is the worst for bad language.

Funny... Nine dead poets found shot in the head Wink seems to be a mass suicide of dead poets that are still dead. Now this is news reporting any poet can understand if said poet can understand, that dead poets are suicidal poets that are suicidal.

| Parent
    Re: some really stupid things i've heard on t.v. news (Score: 1 )
    by omegapaf on Saturday, February 04, 2012 (15:41:06)
    ha ha. nice one james.
    the tiny weather girl on the BBC who looks about 12 years old said today " tomorrow we will be having less noisy weather ".....damn this noisy weather ha ha - the news today is that hound dogs are very farty - paul and stinky.

    | Parent

Re: some really stupid things i've heard on t.v. news (Score: 1 )
by Essex68 on Saturday, February 04, 2012 (14:07:09)
Sorry I missed this one earlier. It's pure class.

| Parent
    Re: some really stupid things i've heard on t.v. news (Score: 1 )
    by omegapaf on Saturday, February 04, 2012 (15:50:35)
    thanks wayne. sorry i haven't got around to your poems yet. you've been recomended to me by several people. i'm slower than a slug in a snail race sometimes. but i get there in the end.
    " the seagulls are looking very attractive today " - sky news cricket commentator.
    - paul.

    | Parent

Re: some really stupid things i've heard on t.v. news (Score: 1 )
by Ego_Rocks2x on Sunday, February 05, 2012 (15:55:54)
Ha ha! It makes the news people look so stupid, but it's funny b/c this stuff actually happens.

| Parent
    Re: some really stupid things i've heard on t.v. news (Score: 1 )
    by omegapaf on Sunday, February 05, 2012 (22:28:29)
    thanks rocks.

    i always find it the funniest when reporters forget which country they are in. i remember one that thought he was in belgium, but was actually in france....eeerrrr where am i? ha ha - paul and the international hound.

    | Parent

Re: some really stupid things i've heard on t.v. news (Score: 1 )
by liarbird on Wednesday, February 22, 2012 (22:10:23)
G'day Paul...
Only the final commentator got it right. Ta for the laughs.
Lindsay

| Parent
    Re: some really stupid things i've heard on t.v. news (Score: 1 )
    by omegapaf on Thursday, February 23, 2012 (07:10:28)
    g'day lindsay.

    you're welcome mate. the hardest part was deciding what to leave out, like the cricket commentator going " he must catch it! he must catch !!...oh, he's dropped it " - paul and misquoted hound.

    | Parent


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