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Poems - Her Facade
| | Her Facadeby WordLover
Body bag
Steel slab
Naked, cold, lifeless corpse irreverently exposed
Toe- tagged, waiting to be claimed
Glaring lights
Final indignity
Another DOA
Delicate wrists
Hang limply
Ragged ribbons of purplish-blue veins
Prominent against nearly translucent, waxen skin
Gaping gashes
Bleeding out
Congealing crimson
Anguished cries
Questioning why
A brittle smile masking incomprehensible pain
Desperate, tortured soul gently laid to rest
Mourner’s lament
Too little
Too late
(Trinet - 3 stanzas each w/word count 2/2/6/6/2/2/2)
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| "Her Facade" | Login/Create an Account | 16 |
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| The comments are owned by the poster. We aren't responsible for their content. |
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Re: Her Facade
(Score: 1 )
by maryanns on Monday, April 30, 2012 (12:25:01) |
Gosh, this dark trinet exposes her vulnerability in such stark relief. A painful read, yet your poem is artistically crafted with great attention to detail. A strong sense of the unusual this morning... very well done. All best wishes, Mary Ann xoxoxo
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Re: Her Facade
(Score: 1 )
by WordLover on Tuesday, May 01, 2012 (06:50:46) |
thank you, thank you, my friend - MUCH appreciated!
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Re: Her Facade
(Score: 1 )
by deepali on Tuesday, May 01, 2012 (06:33:41) |
with deep emotions and hitting words, you do full justice to this form...wonderful!
warm wishes,
D.
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Re: Her Facade
(Score: 1 )
by WordLover on Tuesday, May 01, 2012 (06:51:59) |
awww thanks for those words. It's a bit dark, and I wasn't sure if it was the right form to use for this idea, but I'm so glad you liked it and thought it was worthy. Much appreciated, as always.
Sandy
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Re: Her Facade
(Score: 1 )
by Zbird on Tuesday, May 01, 2012 (13:45:12) |
a hard hitting stark reality poem that was very well done and the form fit the poem perfectly.
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Re: Her Facade
(Score: 1 )
by WordLover on Tuesday, May 01, 2012 (14:08:48) |
Thanks Bonnie - I appreciate hearing this especially from you, as I know you also like to try different forms. I wasn't really sure about how all the words fit, it's a tight little form to follow - but I am so glad you liked it! Thanks again.
Sandy
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Re: Her Facade
(Score: 1 )
by Ozymandias on Tuesday, May 01, 2012 (20:11:14) |
Unusually dark for you, Sandy! This is really very strong work, and I'm gonna give it 10.
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Re: Her Facade
(Score: 1 )
by WordLover on Wednesday, May 02, 2012 (10:36:31) |
awww thanks Ozy - a real honor to receive high praise from you! Glad you liked this one - and yes, it's pretty dark for me - trying to "stretch" I guess.
Sandy
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Re: Her Facade
(Score: 1 )
by graphitegirl on Tuesday, May 01, 2012 (21:41:47) |
very sad. I hope this is just your wonderful imagination and you really didn't have to witness such a tragedy.
I hardly know why people do half the things they do but this is one of the hardest.
You have done a wonderful job with your trinet. Not as easy as you made it look I'm sure.
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Re: Her Facade
(Score: 1 )
by WordLover on Wednesday, May 02, 2012 (10:37:57) |
yes, definitely just my imagination (and a bit of an idea from an old Law & Order (LOL) - thankfully! So glad you liked this form - it's really fun to do, although you're right, it can be tricky since you have to be very careful with word choices. Thank you again!!
Sandy
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Re: Her Facade
(Score: 1 )
by starstruck13 on Tuesday, May 01, 2012 (23:46:38) |
a good poem kind of painful but this is life dont you think
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Re: Her Facade
(Score: 1 )
by WordLover on Wednesday, May 02, 2012 (10:39:18) |
you are so right my friend, it is, sadly, life! I'm trying to spread my wings a bit and get into some different themes - this one came out pretty dark. Thanks so much!
Sandy
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Re: Her Facade
(Score: 1 )
by liarbird on Wednesday, May 02, 2012 (01:25:59) |
G'day Sandy...
Nice trinet Sandy. The ending of life is preferred to be hidden away from the populace, especially in a situation you have written about.
Thank you Sandy.
Lindsay
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Re: Her Facade
(Score: 1 )
by WordLover on Wednesday, May 02, 2012 (10:40:44) |
thanks so much Lindsay - I suppose what I was trying to say was that so often those in such pain either keep a lot inside, or they put out signals that are often ignored until it's too late. So glad you liked my little, dark, trinet! 
Sandy
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Re: Her Facade
(Score: 1 )
by rondo on Monday, May 07, 2012 (20:59:01) |
a dark but mechanicly sound piece and very colorful in descriptive with just enough rhyme to keep my intrest nice work poet
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Re: Her Facade
(Score: 1 )
by electrictiger on Sunday, August 05, 2012 (22:41:06) |
Masterful and altogether chilling.
Added on: 30-Apr-2012 | Hits: 340 |
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