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Poems - Breakneck Beryl

Breakneck Beryl

by ephraimcrud

Beryl Glazer
-i’d really like to praise ‘er
but alas, she’s gruesome and horrid:
her eyes are like pissholes,
there’s lumps like bad rissoles
that protrude from her blotchy red forehead.
her hair’s like wirewool,
she snorts like a bull
and her dentine sticks out at all angles.
she’s everyone’s loathin’,
a pig in wolf’s clothin’
and she always runs off with me Spangles.

Beryl Glazer
-she ought to use a razor,
i would if i’d that much stubble.
she’s very hirsute,
she’s a gorgon, a brute
and could pummel a pillbox to rubble.
she’s definitely not passive,
she’s fat and she’s massive;
her neck’s as thick as is long a giraffe’s.
her legs are mere stumps
of more rissole lumps
and her feet are like upturned tin baths.

Breakneck Beryl
she’s awesome, she’s feral.
she once brought a house down in Neath.
her skin feels like gravel, ‘n
she uses a javelin
for pickin’ out bits in her teeth.
her manner’s appallin’;
she employs a tarpaulin
for blowin’ her nose, which belies
the enormity of her lips;
and she’d cause an eclipse
if ever she took to the skies.

Breakneck Beryl
-approach at your peril!
she oughta be behind barbed-wire fencing.
she’s a mobile mountain
and without any doubtin’
would’ve baffled the late sherpa Tensing.
her chins hang in waves,
her nostrils are caves
and Tarzan could swing on her nosehair.
this poem’s not burlesque,
she’s bloody grotesque!
-and God help Old Nick if she goes there.

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Re: Breakneck Beryl (Score: 1 )
by Essex68 on Thursday, August 16, 2012 (04:45:17)

Reminds me of someone I know lol.

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Added on: 21-Jun-2012 | Hits: 108 |

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