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Poems - Last Time I Saw You

Last Time I Saw You

by Zbird

The last time I saw you
we were sitting at the table
you said, “if you’re going to leave me
then go while I’m asleep.”
And I said I would never desert you
but we both knew my words were lies
that one day I would say goodbye.
In the morning while you slept
I packed my bags and
wrote you a farewell note,
slipped silently from the room.
As I walked out the door
it clicked sadly behind me.
I looked back one more time
said I did it the way you asked
I left while you were sleeping.

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"Last Time I Saw You" | Login/Create an Account | 8

The comments are owned by the poster. We aren't responsible for their content.

Re: The Last Time I Saw You (Score: 1 )
by wordsmithwannabe on Tuesday, June 26, 2012 (13:06:22)

hey Bonnie, i'm diggin the sentiment here; it's very familiar and easy to relate to, which is ideal for a reader! my one nit would be that you use the word 'leave' four times in lines 3-7...maybe find a way to change on or two of those up a bit?? it's a small nit, though, and i like this a lot! hugs Very Happy

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Re: The Last Time I Saw You (Score: 1 )
by Zbird on Tuesday, June 26, 2012 (15:36:20)

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Re: The Last Time I Saw You (Score: 1 )
by unknownmover! on Tuesday, June 26, 2012 (15:29:06)

deep write my fiend good stuff!

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Re: The Last Time I Saw You (Score: 1 )
by Pujakins on Wednesday, June 27, 2012 (22:02:01)

Ah, the sadness creeps into the poem on soft little slippers. Brought a tear to me eye, from sad memories it stirred. Now that is a good poem. Warm and tender hugs, Tasha

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Re: The Last Time I Saw You (Score: 1 )
by wolfinwindow on Saturday, June 30, 2012 (15:43:28)

this is so sad and beautiful... it put memories in my head that weren't mine.....very well written.

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Re: The Last Time I Saw You (Score: 1 )
by liarbird on Wednesday, July 04, 2012 (00:36:52)

G'day Bonnie...
Kind of a sad poem Bonnie if the reader thinks deeper as to why it ever comes to this, but can only speculate.
Thanks Bonnie
Lindsay

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Re: The Last Time I Saw You (Score: 1 )
by BrokenWordsPoet on Sunday, July 08, 2012 (15:18:17)

This poem's title speaks a lot; I read it a few day ago. It reminds me of the ending of my poem titled; Letter To Father. I read a blog the other day where the writer said don't tell her that you or I knows how she feels. That statement may very well be true; but we are posting because we want to be heard and if we want to be heard; we also want to be related to or we should just keep our words to ourselves.

I can very much relate to your work Bonnie... BWP...

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Re: The Last Time I Saw You (Score: 1 )
by SEVER on Monday, September 17, 2012 (22:23:16)

Good Write Sad but good write
that kind of knowing you have to do something
the feeling that goes along with that I think
you captured that feeling in this piece so well.

SEVER

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Added on: 25-Jun-2012 | Hits: 419 |

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