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Poems - True Love
| | True Loveby liarbird
It’s only fair that blokes should be, looked after on their birthd’y,
I s’pose that’s why Peter ‘Bee’ and Hilly took me out upon a spree,
They filled me up with rum and wine; they bought me yards of beer,
Then they dropped me off outside me gate, and whoosh…they disappear.
With passing out and passing time, the horrors slowly took control,
Me eyes were shut but oh me head, a million pins struck at me soul,
Gawds truth me head was thumping, like in a cyclonic rage,
And I’m sure me mouth’s invoked, remnants of a cockies cage.
I thought to meself well this is bad, but knew the worst is yet to come,
When I’m confronted by the other half, who can be worse than some,
And so I lay there pretending that me coma’s still delivered,
Expecting soon for the big shake, and a tirade mighty livid.
But the quietness kind of stumped me and so feebly one by one,
I opened up those road map eyes, still wondering what I’d done,
And there upon the dresser, was a sight I could not pass;
Two aspirins were waiting, beside some water in a glass.
I sat up with a head spin and hoped the medicine stayed down,
Then after a few fuzzy blinks, I saw me clothes and dressing gown
All neatly placed upon a chair, like they’ve never been before,
Then I saw a note upon the dresser. I think she’s left for sure!
But no! The wording represents a lady who is really quite impressed
And when I consider what I done last night, I never would have guessed
To read; ‘Honey, breakfast is upon the stove’. No, this can’t be true!
And she added she’s gone shopping, then she signed it ‘I love you’.
There’s something fishy going on, so with a tentative reaction,
I staggered to the kitchen well prepared, for the opposite distraction,
But me breakfast was upon the stove, and the papers there to read.
And me son was sitting at the table, scoffing down his morning feed.
I hesitated for a moment, then with a sheepish grin I spoke.
I said to me son ‘what happened? And then the story quickly broke,
When he mentioned first that I got home at some time after four,
And trampled down Mum’s hollyhocks, from the gateway to the door.
He said ‘Dad I’ve seen you drunk before but never in that state,
You watered all the plastic flowers, ‘cause you said you couldn’t wait,
And you stumbled to the arm chair and it threw you yes it did,
Then you broke that vase of Grandma’s that was worth two thousand quid.
And finally when on your feet, you swayed and stumbled forward,
Knocking down Mum’s crystal cabinet, and the washhouse you ignored,
When screaming out that you felt sick, you completely lost control,
The telephone you decorated, and overflowed the goldfish bowl’.
What could I say, I feel so bad, yet I just don’t understand,
Why the house is spotless, and a love note’s written by her hand,
On past occasions when the grog had taken toll on me
She fly’s completely off the handle on the morn of misery.
And yet today, after what I’d say, the worst state I’ve ever been,
I’m in total bewilderment toward this unexpected scene,
And so of course with my confusion, I mentioned to me son,
“How come she cooked me breakfast and the housework’s all been done?”
He shrugged and said, “Well Mum went wild. She screamed and yelled at you,
But you never took no notice, and so of course her anger grew,
She dragged and pulled you to the bed, and when taking off your pants,
You slurred “Lady leave me be. I’m married, so you ain’t got a chance”.
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| "True Love" | Login/Create an Account | 23 |
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Re: True Love
(Score: 1 )
by ossy on Monday, July 23, 2012 (14:01:04) |
Ha! You made me laugh out aloud.
Nice one, really nice
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Re: True Love
(Score: 1 )
by liarbird on Tuesday, July 31, 2012 (21:10:00) |
G'day ossy...
That's good ossy. I'm pleased you enjoyed this piece of satire. I don't often write love poems.
Lindsay
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Re: True Love
(Score: 1 )
by MoZark on Tuesday, July 24, 2012 (07:18:12) |
You had me all the way to the end, as you always do. Hilarious. Have a grand tomorrow…Jack
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Re: True Love
(Score: 1 )
by liarbird on Tuesday, July 31, 2012 (21:14:35) |
G'day Jack...
And the ending is like a fairytale Jack.
Catch you soon Jack
Lindsay
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Re: True Love
(Score: 1 )
by deepali on Tuesday, July 24, 2012 (14:05:45) |
Oh God, Lindsay, how you keep saving yourself... 
What a wonderful poem!
Take care,
D.
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Re: True Love
(Score: 1 )
by liarbird on Tuesday, July 31, 2012 (21:16:50) |
G'day deepali...
There are times deepali us men can say the right thing to diffuse a bad situation...it may not be often though.
Thanks matey
Lindsay
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Re: True Love
(Score: 1 )
by Zbird on Tuesday, July 24, 2012 (15:48:49) |
ah! such a sweet end! a funny funny read!
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Re: True Love
(Score: 1 )
by liarbird on Tuesday, July 31, 2012 (21:19:24) |
G'day Bonnie...
And to think that I can't recall those sweet reassuring words Bonnie.
Catch you soon Bonnie
Lindsay
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Re: True Love
(Score: 1 )
by maryanns on Tuesday, July 24, 2012 (17:23:30) |
Awwww, Lindsay - you're a true gentleman and a scholar, too! I think we must give Joy at least some credit for her wonderful even tempered reaction and auditory sense, as well!! Too funny, my friend - Mary Ann
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Re: True Love
(Score: 1 )
by liarbird on Tuesday, July 31, 2012 (21:23:33) |
Crikey Maryann...
You don't know Joy. I would never have lived long enough to say make such a tender loving statement.
Thanks again Maryann
Lindsay
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Re: True Love
(Score: 1 )
by rondo on Tuesday, July 24, 2012 (18:11:04) |
best love poem on site.... in classic Lindsay style....great delivery ...didnt have a clue how it would end  fine writing
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Re: True Love
(Score: 1 )
by liarbird on Tuesday, July 31, 2012 (21:27:19) |
Why thanks Ronald...
I don't often write love poems...they seem to have the opposite effect. I wouldn't like to chance my arm on a situation like this again though.
See you later Ronald
Lindsay
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Re: True Love
(Score: 1 )
by BrokenWordsPoet on Wednesday, July 25, 2012 (09:02:39) |
Lindsay... I have been so busy these last few days I have had no time for GP; then this morning a sat down with a bowl of cereal and your name was on the top read list and I had to sign in.
All kinds of things went through my mind on how this work was going to end and I did not see that last line coming at all and had two read that last line twice to get it to sink in. Like Rondo said, "best love poem on site"
I simply love your poems... BWP.... James...
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Re: True Love
(Score: 1 )
by liarbird on Tuesday, July 31, 2012 (21:30:26) |
G'day James...
Thanks again mate for your encouraging comment. As far as best love poem, just a slight miscalculation could have turned it into the best murder poem on the site.
Lindsay
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Re: True Love
(Score: 1 )
by omegapaf on Wednesday, July 25, 2012 (21:20:37) |
ha ha. it's amazing how fast a " birthday drink " can go to " sleeping on the sofa " - paul and the sober hound.
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Re: True Love
(Score: 1 )
by liarbird on Tuesday, July 31, 2012 (21:32:29) |
Yes Paul...
Birthday's do tend to cause headaches and heartaches. It's never the drink or the late nights...it's birthdays.
Thanks matey
Lindsay
Added on: 23-Jul-2012 | Hits: 272 |
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