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Poems - subway.maps
| | subway.mapsby chameleon
there were nights i was lost
in my own head, unable to see my bedroom walls
behind the noise of my thoughts, nights i traded the
bon jovi posters for spray paint artworks and
the regimented dot-and-arrow markings that made sense
of the Boston underground.
i could almost find escape in the criss-crossed lines from
Andrews to Mattapan to Forest Hills to Wonderland
almost hear the ocean in the density of silence
left in the wake of midnight departures
almost find redemption in the somewhere just not here strains of music
that echoed down the tunnels in between the red line’s rumbling roar
beneath the angry mutter of our last fight
it would rise and i would rise with it
above the promise of your fingerprints
above the instant instinct to forgive
above the hated need that jammed the turnstile
every time i tried to pull free of your orbit.
being yours was a round-trip ride, like the 6:10 local -
a hundred stations on the way, but
whichever stop you take, the only way out of town is to
get back on the train
and i was too ready to climb the stairs for your comfort
too close to escape for you to let go
too lost in you to see that your affection was nothing more than tokens
to keep me on the rails for one more day.
i’m so tired of riding, baby,
tired of trying to chart tomorrow
with nothing to guide me but a subway map
that only lists the stations i’ve
been and done before.
i’m building myself a new legend now, baby
reading tags like road signs
writing my own ticket and hoping
that the tunnels open out
into the sky.
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chameleon, I love th
(Score: 1 )
by induce on Wednesday, July 11, 2007 (11:33:09) |
chameleon, I love this poem it has a beat, the first two stanzas are my favorites, especially these lines:
'behind the noise of my thoughts, nights i traded the
bon jovi posters for spray paint artworks and
the regimented dot-and-arrow markings that made sense
of the Boston underground.'
I can especially relate to the Aerosoul Art and the 'train' of thoughts throughout, the sounds spark!
induce
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I like this.....a fe
(Score: 1 )
by badmalthus on Thursday, July 12, 2007 (01:52:37) |
I like this.....a feeling of being all alone in the subway with the lights out with nothing but a box of matches.....you have used the Word well....cheers.
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i love this piece, c
(Score: 1 )
by Mayo on Thursday, July 12, 2007 (10:16:56) |
i love this piece, chammy. it starts out with such a strong image and it carries us through to the end. you have described a state of being so well that i was feeling it as i read. really one of my favorites.
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a sad journey but i
(Score: 1 )
by merrick on Wednesday, July 25, 2007 (11:48:58) |
a sad journey but i the ending i like. it wasn't predictable
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I love this; why: be
(Score: 1 )
by lordfuznut on Saturday, July 28, 2007 (00:48:59) |
I love this; why: because I used to travel around on the london underground to clear my head, sometimes to soak up the strange ghostly feeling of a place..no wait, ,I'd better save this for my own poem...
what I'm saying is love this because it ran chills up my spine like the breeze the train creates when it comes thundering out of the dangerous darkness of some dusty hot tunnel under london.
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Dear Chameleon
I
(Score: 1 )
by silent_lotus on Wednesday, September 26, 2007 (07:15:43) |
Dear Chameleon
I truly enjoyed the nuancences of your palette of imagery.
a warm smile
silent lotus
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poet , whoever you a
(Score: 1 )
by anna9 on Sunday, July 20, 2008 (06:14:35) |
poet , whoever you are , I want you to know this is a beautiful poem .
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needs less MBTA desc
(Score: 1 )
by loisseau on Thursday, August 07, 2008 (17:43:28) |
needs less MBTA description and more relationship delineation. Please cap " i "-its so easy with a computer, and respectful to the language; you capped everything else.
L.
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needs less MBTA desc
(Score: 1 )
by chameleon on Thursday, August 07, 2008 (19:01:43) |
Thanks for the comment, L. Actually, I didn't cap "everything else", only place names. The 'i' is deliberately lower-cased (I assume you're rating blind, but if you read other poems of mine you'll see that it's not a typical 'conceit' that I use. When I leave the I in lower case, it' has a significance. I also didn't capitalize the beginnings of sentences, and only used punctuation to aid in the reading of the poem. The subway description is a metaphor for the relationship and the life the narrator is leaving behind.
 Added on: 11-Jul-2007 | Hits: 1469 |
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