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Poems - Where the hell are my pyjamas?
| | Where the hell are my pyjamas?by Ozymandias
"Where the hell are my pyjamas?"
bellowed my antiquated aunt.
"Stolen, no doubt, by those Obamas,
who won't return them, 'cos they can't!
Michelle has nicked my favourite nightie
for dancing on the White House lawns;
it's well known, she's so flighty,
she'll groove until the morning dawns!
Barack won't look so presidential
with my pyjama bottoms on,
parading through the residential
suburban streets of Washington!"
I tried to pacify Matilda,
explaining that this couldn't be,
but brooding on her plight had filled her
with viperish ferocity:
"I don't care if they live ten thousand
miles across the sea -
they broke into my house and
stole my best jarmies off of me!
It's 'cos they went to Copenhagen
for that there climate conference;
I s'pose they thought they'd get a bargain
by climbing up my wooden fence.
My 'jarmies, as you know, are flimsy,
and thereby prove a point:
this global warming ain't no whimsy -
we're heating up the joint!
By dancing in my flimsy frillies
and my multicoloured tights,
the Obamas give the rest the willies
in Denmark's winter nights.
For it must be hot as Hades
if the Obamas are thus clad
in skimpy 'jarmies of old ladies -
this'll soon become a fad!
Their ain't no level of depravity
to which Yankees will not stoop -
they'll defy the law of gravity,
they'll even slurp their green pea soup!
They must have swum the wide Pacific
to steal my 'jarmies from my bed!"
(Auntie then swore with words horrific
which had better not be said!)
She swore by holy Mother Mary
she would get her 'jarmies back;
her voice was thunderous and scary
and her countenance was black.
So I had to take some action
to save old Auntie from herself -
I searched, and found some pink pyjamas
in her bedroom, on a shelf.
"Are these yours?" I asked politely,
and she looked a bit shamefaced
and admitted that they might be,
and that they must have been misplaced.
So I keep track of Auntie's 'jarmies
nowadays, with greatest care,
'cos she's going bloody barmy,
and now she's lost her underwear....
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Re: Where the hell are my pyjamas?
(Score: 1 )
by WordLover on Thursday, December 10, 2009 (13:53:01) |
Ozy - oh the pictures this poem brings to my mind!!! hahahahaha - made me laugh out loud! Thanks for the smile today! GREAT job!!
Sandy
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Re: Where the hell are my pyjamas?
(Score: 1 )
by Ozymandias on Thursday, December 10, 2009 (17:38:29) |
We all need a smile... glad you enjoyed it!
Rory
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Re: Where the hell are my pyjamas?
(Score: 1 )
by Forrest on Wednesday, December 16, 2009 (17:30:20) |
Great job! There aren't enough poems around nowadays to make people laugh. I love it.
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Re: Where the hell are my pyjamas?
(Score: 1 )
by Ozymandias on Wednesday, December 16, 2009 (17:54:54) |
Thanks - I agree with you about funny poems!
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Re: Where the hell are my pyjamas?
(Score: 1 )
by wordsmithwannabe on Saturday, March 20, 2010 (23:48:33) |
haha!!! i was rummaging around in your poetic attic and came across this gem. it was made all the more hilarious when i read your comment to Gail about your revelation that Obama rhymed with pyjama...funny funny stuff my friend, thanks for the much needed chuckles
chris
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Re: Where the hell are my pyjamas?
(Score: 1 )
by Ozymandias on Saturday, March 20, 2010 (23:57:38) |
Help!!! If you are rummaging around in my poetic attic you might find all sorts of awful skeletons there! Anyway, I'm glad you enjoyed this one.
 Added on: 09-Dec-2009 | Hits: 522 |
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01: Ozymandias
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