Glorious Rain

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Definite problems with the structure of your poem, but written very well. I think you may need me to show you how to structure a poem so that it actually looks like a poem and not pure prose. By the way, this Matt everybody. Enjoy.

I love the way the heat imbues my body
With vigour and sends sparkles to my hope filled eyes
Carefree days of friendship, fun, festivity
In the glorious rise
From dawn til dusk when days are long
I wish that they would carry on
As in the darkness I crave to feel it's warm lifegiving kiss
Pray to Godless heavens for my pagan God's return
To take rapture in it's soul warming bliss.

Yep...I like the summer! I know this is a poor poem in response to your own, but it was improvised and quickly turned to forced rhyme!
I enjoyed your depiction of rain though...you show a lot of potential with your first post and I will read more when you submit. As to the rain; I can live with the wet, I just don't like winter much and would prefer to hibernate for a few months between seasons!
Take care, spence

Re: Glorious Rain (Score: 1 ) by TerrancePhillipson on Monday, December 14, 2009 (22:11:17)

"Pray to Godless heavens for my pagan God's return"

Love it! Thanks for the comment, I enjoy summer (which comes in the late months here) too.


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my favourite weather is storms or heavy rain. i love the raw beauty of lightning- the thundering roar of rain and the claps of thunder-
i find storms the most comforting weather in the whole wide world- i feel surrounded my high energy air, and the coolness that follows a storm is so soothing- by contrast i cannot stand very hot humid or hot dry weather- as i live in australia- this is a bit of a problem!@!!!!!!! i think i'll need to move somewhere....somewhere overcast with plenty of stomrs;-))))
i really liked ths poem- i also love the shimmery afterglow on a city that has just been raindrenched- everything seems more poignant- more true....like the rain sweeps away the grit and the sound for only a few minutes before the rain starts t dry and the water dissipate......very nice work- i was pleasantly syurprised by this- very well done. millie

Re: Glorious Rain (Score: 1 ) by TerrancePhillipson on Wednesday, January 13, 2010 (19:07:10)

I love lightning storms as well, but my area almost never gets any, oh well. Yeah, I start melting if the temp gets above about 75, lol!

I'm glad you liked it, thanks for the comment, Millie.


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Lovely, stanza, does seem like a portian of a piece. Another stanza or two would be helpful to develop the entire meaning of the poem.

Re: Glorious Rain (Score: 1 ) by TerrancePhillipson on Wednesday, January 13, 2010 (19:09:01)

Thank you for the criticism, butterflyzrfree. Though I have to say that there isn't really any deep meaning to this poem, it's just describing some of my favorite weather


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This is really, really nice. The only suggestion I would have is that 'off of' is a little bit awkward. Other than that I really love it.

I think my favorite image is:

'enlightened in a momentary brilliance'

I'm going to add this to my favorites.

Re: Glorious Rain (Score: 1 ) by TerrancePhillipson on Thursday, June 10, 2010 (00:53:15)

Thank you very much.


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great choice of topic and very well written.

best wishes
conor

Re: Glorious Rain (Score: 1 ) by TerrancePhillipson on Friday, June 18, 2010 (12:09:34)

Many thanks, conor.


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