||Feb 18, 2012
||Saturday, April 07, 2012 (06:06:46)
||Student, Future Teacher
||languages, culture, twloha
Exalt - Smite
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|sportytrackgirl's recent Blog entry. ||27 days or should I just stop the count down? ( 1374 reads) ||Thursday, February 23, 2012 (04:57:00)|
|Let’s start with I went to my first class, I’m all caught up, just have to take the test next week in the OSD office. I had lunch with Jordan and Alex from French Club. We discussed the budget, which I still need to do tonight. I went to my other two classes. I still have to visit my philosophy teacher during his office hours.|
Then I went to counseling at 3. We discussed mindfulness; he suggested a full day of mindfulness, probably on the weekend. He suggested waking up slow, cleaning a little, or doing laundry, taking a relaxing shower or bath, and maybe spend some time with the piggies. While doing all this I should keep an hourly journal and do everything in a calming, non-judgmental way. We also discussed Travis, his drinking, and how this could form an even worse relationship. Also, the fact that he is not opening up to me seems like he really wants nothing to do with me, but why does he say he does when he’s drunk? Should it be like in health class when they said if someone’s drunk and they say they want to kill themselves’ then you should believe them because the alcohol is not inhibiting their feelings, like when they aren’t drunk. So, I’d just like him to give me a straight answer about me, does he want me, and us, at all? Does he hope we can get back together? If he wants me to change, is he willing to change his new habits? That’s all I want to know and since he’s always drunk, or doesn’t want to talk, that’s not going to happen. I just wish since he didn’t want to drink tonight, and then he had band practice, that hopefully he will control himself.
I had dinner with Kelsey, Dan, and Adam at Garfield’s, it was great, and the Travel Channel paid for it! Awesome! We are going to the Calvin Center for free!!!! And we have dates for the Old Stone House, The Brewery, and Nila’s Aunts house, boy is Travis going to be mad when he isn’t invited because the spots will fill up before he wants me back, hell two of them are happening before March 20th. Why am I thinking he will want to come? He’s done with me anyways, and I want to be let go of his hold over me, but I’m not sure how. Kelsey thinks I should go on a date, but if I do he’ll never take me back, but what’s to say if he going to take me back? I guess that leaves me at I’m going to go out, but who should I go out with? Leo or Andrew…they are both losers, but I got to move on, everyone thinks so, Kelsey, Nila, Tawcoh, my counselor, and Scott (who has actually become a great person to talk to). Speaking of Scott, he has a place available March 2nd. I guess I have a couple days until the weekend, and to decide, maybe Travis will read this and tell me not to, it’s just should I move on and forget about him, or should I wait, possibly for eternally?
Then I came home and played with my babies, they miss Travis, but I guess I’ll find them a new daddy eventually, but he’s not coming home and meeting them for a couple dates, lol. Anyways, Daisy is changing color! She has two grey spots, and I washed her and they were still there I love my babies. That is all for today, I hope his friends take care of them, but personally, I feel I have more of his best interests at heart, who has called him every night to check in? Who offered sleeping pills when everything was closed? Who wants to call the cops because he’s scaring the living shit out of them? But I didn’t because that’s not what I would want, and he would never do it for me. I’ll always be there for him, but I think, for a while, I won’t. I need to get back on my feet and do something for myself, like get all pretty and go out.
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