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My Account > > Personal Information > > Shaayna
||All about Shaayna
||Aug 25, 2004
||Not having been informed to the highest degree of accuracy, I hesitate to articulate for fear that I might deviate from the true and given path of rectitude. In other words, I don't know.
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|Shaayna's recent Blog entry. ||The Church of 'I Don't Know' ( 1495 reads) ||Friday, October 24, 2008 (15:10:09)|
|My grandfather used to have a saying.|
He made me memorize it
and use it often, and it goes:
"Not having been informed to the highest degree of accuracy,
I hesitate to articulate for fear that I may deviate
from the true and given path of rectitude.
In other words, "I don't know."
And as the cliche goes,
the one thing I know for certain is that I know nothing at all.
I do not know what time I will fall asleep tonight, or wake in the morning,
if I wake at all
I do not know what I am here for, or what this life is about,
the meaning eludes me
I do not know how long I will live or how soon I will die
I do not know if there is a god or a devil, heaven or hell
and I do not care, really
I do not know when I will get there or when I will have to leave
or when I will come to visit or when I will call you next
I do not know why or how or where or who or what
I do not know when, or if this too, shall pass.
Although, I have been told that it will, mostly by others who like to say those sorts of silly things
I don't know if I care about anything anymore and I don't know where to begin trying
I don't know how to explain what its like to meet your father after thirty years only to find out that he will be dead soon
I don't know how to explain how angry I am when I hear that he lived in the same house for twenty six years
while I moved every few months
Or that he was still sending my mother child support after I moved out at 14
Or that she knew where he was the whole time and kept me from him
with a series of lies and half truths and complete omissions
He is not the monster she made him out to be
I have given up the struggle of trying to understand,
maybe in my resignation to the unexplainable I will find peace
As peaceful as the sound of hearing an old man tell me he never forgot my name
And I am resigned to the church of 'I don't know'
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by Anonymous on Wednesday, October 10, 2007 (21:16:29)
i love it as i do you
Just dropping in to say "hey" and to check out your new page. Glad to see you started one. Take care!