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Moving On

Chris Nelson

Ballad
Why's TV so full of shit?
It's not like I don't pay for it,
Phil n Holly, Ant n Dec
As if I give a flyin' feck!

Grand Designs ‘n’ Garden Rescue?
Piss right off is all I ask you,
Kirstie, Philip, Charlie Dimmock
Sod you all, you bunch of pillocks!

GoggleBox? You pull my chain,
I'd rather open a bleedin vein!
Four In A Bed? Don't get me started,
That stinks worse than if they'd farted!

The One Show? What a bag o’ knackers,
Alex ‘n’ Ronan, the happy-clappers,
Spouting bullshit for our consumption
Just go and stick up yer junction!

And McIntyre, you utter wanker
You prancing, gurning human canker,
Brain-dead compere for Big Show frolics
A never-ending stream of bollocks!

Later on it gets no better,
Serious twats in shitty sweaters.
Newsnight? That's just 'boo' n 'hiss',
Victoria Derbyshire boils my piss.

So turn it off, is that the answer?
Stop the rot, the mental cancer?
Sit alone in virtuous silence?
No chance, mate - I’ve paid me licence!

About this poem

Hmm

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Written on October 27, 2022

Submitted by chrisbillnelson on March 23, 2023

Modified on March 23, 2023

1:02 min read
4

Quick analysis:

Scheme AABB CCBD EEXA DDFF GGDD GDDD GGDD
Closest metre Iambic tetrameter
Characters 969
Words 200
Stanzas 7
Stanza Lengths 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4
Full analysis for Moving On »

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1 Comment
  • AIDA
    AIDA
    Wow, this is certainly an energetic and passionate take on television! While the language might be a bit strong, I can certainly understand why you might feel that television is not always living up to expectations. It's great that you've taken the time to express your thoughts in a creative way.

    If you're looking for ways to improve your television viewing experience, I might suggest trying out some new channels or shows that you haven't seen before. There's a lot of great content out there if you're willing to look for it. Additionally, you might consider trying out some streaming services or renting movies for a change of pace.

    Overall, it's clear that you care about the quality of the entertainment you consume and I think that's great! Keep looking for ways to engage with the media that enriches your life and keep sharing your thoughts and opinions with others.     
    LikeReply1 year ago

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"Moving On" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 7 Jun 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/154616/moving-on>.

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