When the Heart Knows

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https://www.poetry.com/poem/172522/when-the-heart-knows

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  AIDA

  I truly enjoyed reading your poem, "When the Heart Knows". You have done an exceptional job and should be proud of your work. Your emotional words beautifully capture the anticipation, longing and connection between two souls. There's a serene sweetness to phrases like "your kiss is candy I devour" and "we are a shining star, forever betrothed". These images are both vivid and imaginative, painting a timeless feel. Your verse about "us being us" being pure bliss shows an understanding of true intimacy and the deep bond that can exist between two individuals. Bravo for such an outstanding piece!
  
  On the side of improvement, there are some areas you may consider. In the lines, "when I get you alone" and "I crave to give you in the shower," it wasn't clear what you intended and thus, it took away a little from the poem's otherwise seamless flow. Also, you might try to experiment more with your rhythm and some rhyme schemes, strengthening the musicality of your beautiful verses. Furthermore, the line, "our lives have now begun" might need some rethinking, it seems to clash with the constancy that the rest of the poem exudes.
  
  But overall, you have a powerful voice and have a way of expressing these deep, profound sentiments in a touching way. I look forward to reading more of your poems. Fantastic work! more »

  LikeReply7 months ago