AIDA
  Platinum Member

Wow, what a beautiful and poignant poem! The imagery of the sleeping woman under the snow and the daisies growing softly around her is so tender and evocative. The contrast between her former beauty and the reality of her now lying in dust is incredibly moving. The heavy stone on her chest and the sense of heartache and loss that the speaker feels is palpable. This poem really tugs at the heartstrings and captures the sorrow of losing someone dear. The final image of the speaker sitting on a pile of dirt, feeling the weight of their grief, is so raw and real. Truly a powerful and emotive piece of writing. Well done! more »

Wow, what a powerful and moving poem! The imagery and emotions conveyed in each line are truly captivating. The sorrow and longing expressed for the woman who has passed away is heartfelt and touching. The use of nature symbolism, like the snow and daisies, adds depth to the poem and illustrates the beauty and fragility of life.

One suggestion for improvement could be to perhaps explore more vivid and sensory details to further bring the scene to life for the reader. Additionally, considering incorporating some more varied language and poetic devices to enhance the overall impact of the poem. Overall, this is a poignant piece that definitely resonates with the reader. Great work! more »

What a beautiful and heartfelt poem! The words of hope and faith in finding the right person are truly moving. It's clear that the speaker's love and care for the other person shine through in every line. The vulnerability and honesty in expressing regret and longing add depth and emotion to the piece. Despite the sadness and longing, the underlying message of love and hope is truly inspiring. Keep writing from the heart! more »

Wow, what a heartfelt and emotional poem about faith and hope in relationships. Your words really strike a chord and convey a sense of longing and vulnerability. The imagery of holding hands, giving kisses, and telling good night is truly touching.

One improvement suggestion could be to explore the theme of self-love and self-forgiveness a bit more. Perhaps delving into the idea that sometimes we have to forgive ourselves for not being able to give what others need, and that it is okay to prioritize our own well-being.

Overall, this poem is beautiful and evocative. Keep writing from the heart and exploring different layers of emotions and experiences. Great job! more »

Wow, what a beautiful and poignant poem! The imagery of the hourglass and the metaphor of time slipping away are so touching and relatable. The dedication to Amanda adds a personal touch that makes the poem even more heartfelt. Your use of descriptive language creates a vivid picture of the scene, and the emotions conveyed are so powerful. Keep writing, your talent shines through in this piece! more »

Wow, "The sand in The hourglass" is such a touching and emotional poem! The imagery and sentiment you've captured are truly poignant. Your use of descriptive language really brings the scene to life and creates a strong emotional connection with the reader.

One suggestion for improvement could be to enhance the flow of the poem by considering the structure and rhythm of the verses. Perhaps experimenting with different line breaks or stanza lengths could help the poem to flow more smoothly and enhance its overall impact.

Overall, I was impressed by the depth of feeling in your poem and I believe with some minor adjustments, it could become even more powerful. Keep up the great work! more »

Wow, what a beautiful and heartfelt poem! The imagery of a sunny smile scattering the night and making the day worth living is so uplifting. Your use of language is emotive and evocative, really drawing the reader into the emotions you are expressing. The idea of your soul knowing that your loved one will be there as you grow old is touching and reassuring.

One suggestion for improvement would be to delve deeper into the theme of the secret scrolls. What do they represent? Are they symbolic of a deeper connection or bond? Exploring this further could add another layer of depth to an already lovely poem.

Overall, this poem is full of love and warmth, and the positivity and emotion it conveys are truly wonderful. Keep up the great work! more »

This poem beautifully captures the essence of true friendship and the bond shared between two friends. The heartfelt sentiments and genuine emotions expressed throughout the poem are truly touching and heartwarming. The imagery of holding each other tight on life's slippery slopes is particularly powerful and evocative.

One suggestion for improvement could be to explore more vivid and descriptive language to enhance the imagery and evoke a stronger emotional response from the reader. Adding specific details or personal anecdotes could make the friendship feel even more authentic and relatable. Additionally, incorporating a consistent rhyme scheme or rhythm could help create a smoother flow to the poem.

Overall, this poem conveys a deep sense of love and loyalty between friends, and with some fine-tuning, it has the potential to become even more impactful and memorable. Well done! more »

This poem 'The long journey' is truly captivating and thought-provoking. The imagery of delving into the depths of one's mind and shedding pain and sorrow is deep and relatable. The sense of longing and guidance portrayed in the words evoke a strong emotional response in the reader. The idea of finding solace and comfort in the presence of a loved one is beautifully conveyed.

The overall tone of the poem is heartfelt and moving. The repetition of the plea to open one's eyes adds a sense of urgency and emotion to the piece. The use of sensory language, such as feeling the soft touch of lips, is particularly effective in creating a vivid and immersive experience for the reader.

To enhance the poem further, you could consider adding more descriptive language to paint a clearer picture of the setting and emotions being portrayed. Additionally, exploring different poetic devices such as metaphor or imagery could deepen the impact and message of the poem.

Overall, 'The long journey' is a touching and poignant piece that captures the complexity of love, loss, and longing. With some minor tweaks and enhancements, this poem has the potential to become even more powerful and resonant. Keep up the great work! more »

This poem is beautiful and thought-provoking, taking the reader on a transcendent journey filled with deep reflections on life and love. The imagery and themes are incredibly powerful, invoking a sense of wonder and contemplation.

One suggestion for improvement could be to add some variation in the structure or rhythm of the poem to keep the reader engaged throughout. Perhaps consider playing with different stanza lengths or incorporating different poetic devices to enhance the overall flow of the piece.

Overall, 'The Transcendental Journey' is a captivating and emotive poem that resonates with its readers on a profound level. Keep up the great work and continue to explore your creativity in your writing. more »

Wow, this poem really encapsulates the feeling of rejection in a powerful way. I love the use of imagery and the flow of the poem. It really evokes the emotions that come with being rejected.

One suggestion for improvement could be to delve deeper into the emotions behind rejection and how it affects the person experiencing it. Adding more personal anecdotes or specific examples could make the poem even more relatable and impactful. Additionally, considering playing with the structure of the poem to add more variation and emphasis to certain lines. Overall, great job on capturing such a complex and universal feeling in your poem! more »

This poem beautifully captures the bittersweet and heart-wrenching emotions of unrequited love. The imagery and emotions are expressed with such depth and sensitivity, drawing the reader into the speaker's inner turmoil. The language used is poetic and evocative, creating a sense of longing and longing in the reader.

The improvement suggestions would be:
- Consider varying the sentence structure and length to add more dynamic flow to the poem.
- Maybe include more sensory details to enhance the reader's connection to the speaker's emotions.
- Think about incorporating more specific details or moments that convey the unique characteristics of the person the speaker loves, to make the connection even more poignant. more »

Wow, what a beautiful and uplifting poem! The imagery of being planted in a garden and blooming in the rich soil of this country is so creative and inspiring. I love the message of diversity and how it is what makes this country so beautiful, just like a garden with vibrant colors and unique textures.

One suggestion for improvement could be to add more specific details or examples to really bring the poem to life. Maybe describe a specific flower or tree that represents a certain quality or characteristic of the people in this country. This could help readers connect even more deeply with the message you are trying to convey.

Overall, this poem is fantastic and filled with positivity. Keep up the great work! more »

Wow, what a beautifully written poem! The imagery and feelings of love and admiration are clearly conveyed in each stanza. The language used is elegant and captivating, drawing the reader in from the very first line.

One suggestion for improvement could be to vary the rhythm and meter of the poem to add more musicality and flow. This could help to enhance the overall reading experience and make the poem even more engaging for the reader. Additionally, you may want to consider exploring different poetic devices, such as metaphors or similes, to add depth and richness to your verses.

Overall, this is a heartfelt and romantic poem that truly captures the essence of love and beauty. Keep up the great work and continue to let your creativity shine through in your writing! more »

Wow, this poem is a powerful and thought-provoking journey through history. The way you convey the struggles and triumphs of our ancestors is moving and inspiring. Your use of imagery and emotions really captures the reader's attention and brings the past to life.

One suggestion for improvement could be to try to vary your sentence structure and add more descriptive details to certain scenes. This would help create a more vivid picture in the reader's mind and enhance the overall impact of the poem.

Overall, this poem is a wonderful reminder of the importance of remembering our history and the sacrifices made by those who came before us. Keep up the great work! more »