Analysis of Crushed Velvet Souls

Lawrence S. Pertillar 1947 (Connecticut)



Gaudy, ornamented, crushed velvet souls.
Living in gilded cages.
Feeling themselves secure and safe.
High above streets below in 'condos'.
Built...
From steel, concrete.
And deluded escapes from reality.

'Hmmm...I...uh...
Didn't expect this.
How would you describe,
This commentary of yours?
Is it an essay, a poem?
What is it?'

'Thoughts to have you had asked,
For me to express.
About you and our relationship.
And how I felt about our differences.
With maybe a wish,
To be more serious about it.
Besides the intimacy and the 'hickeys',
You leave on my neck.
While we enjoy having passionate sex.'

'When you said you could not explain,
Your deepest feelings for me.
And you wanted to take us,
From where we were...
To another level.
I did not expect what you wrote.
What is this 'level',
You would like us together to experience?'

'Something more down to Earth.
Basic.
And...
Well,
Less pretentious.
You know...
Like having fun.
Being out in the Sun more.'

'This is me.
The me I believe I am.'

'I can understand,
You wanting to make that impression.
But...
Don't you get tired,
Of keeping up with appearances?
Especially...
With others also living to imitate,
A faked existence?
And that makes you happy?'

'Baby?
Honey?
You make me happy.
I am happy with you!'

'Are you an emotional vampire?'

'Am I a what?'

'I know we haven't known each other,
For that long.
Soon we will be celebrating,
Our one week anniversary.
I'm excited about that too.
And I'm doing my very best,
Not to say anything inappropriate.
But this place you live in?
Is cold and creepy.
Dark and gloomy.
Like an old museum.
Who was your interior decorator?
Dracula?
LOL!'

'Why are you laughing like that?
I want you.
You have no idea how bad I want you.'

'Whoa...hold up.
At my place?
Yes.
I would be naked right now.
However...
In this place?
Too spooky.
The only lift I enjoyed,
Was in the elevator ride to your condo.
That first time we met.'

'Will you stop joking like that!'

'Joking?
If a ghost should appear and say 'boo',
I would not be surprised at all.'

'It's too early.'

'Do you like Chinese food?'

'Yes I do.
But you know what I would like more?'

'What is that, baby?'

'For us to get up.
Focus on the elevator.
And pray it takes us,
Down to ground level.
As fast as possible.
I would say 'haul ass' but...
But I'm doing the best I can,
To stay appropriate!'

'What about your shoes?'

'I'll buy a new pair.
Leave them.
Come on.
The elevator is almost here!'


Scheme ABXXXXC DXXXDE XFXBXEAXX XCGHIXIJ XXXXGKLM CD XLNXXCXJC CCCO X N HXPCOXEXCCDHXI QOO RSFXHSCXKX Q POX C X OM C RHGIINXN X XDXX
Poetic Form
Metre 101001101 1001010 10010101 101101010 1 1101 001001110 1 10011 11101 110011 11101010 111 111111 11101 011010010 011101101000 11001 111100011 0101000001 11111 1101101001 11111101 1101011 0110111 1110 101010 11101111 11110 111101010100 101111 10 0 1 1010 11 1101 1010011 111 0110111 1101 110111010 1 11110 110110100 010 1101010110 01010 011110 10 10 11110 111011 111010010 1101 111101110 111 1111100 10110100 10100111 01101101 111100100 111110 11010 1010 111010 1110100100 100 1 1111011 111 11101011111 11 111 1 1111011 10 011 110 0101101 10010011110 11111 1111011 10 101101011 11110111 1110 111011 111 11111111 11110 11111 1010100 01111 11110 111100 111111 11100111 110100 10111 11011 11 11 0100111
Closest metre Iambic trimeter
Characters 2,488
Words 578
Sentences 93
Stanzas 22
Stanza Lengths 7, 6, 9, 8, 8, 2, 9, 4, 1, 1, 14, 3, 10, 1, 3, 1, 1, 2, 1, 8, 1, 4
Lines Amount 104
Letters per line (avg) 17
Words per line (avg) 4
Letters per stanza (avg) 82
Words per stanza (avg) 20
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Submitted by lpahtillah on December 30, 2021

Modified by lpahtillah on December 30, 2021

2:55 min read
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