Analysis of New Years Substance

In the last minute I go out,

it is raining so loud.

My neck hurting now,

such a pain I said ‘wow’.

I’ve never been so low,

indeed I’m close to the fall.

Torture & sweat,

just for my best friend.

Hope her bad days will end.

She is alive.

Why do I cry?

time still exists.

So I leave again,

it’s just how it is.

Now it’s silence,

I’m all alone.

Not a single soul,

everyone is now home.

My body is so hard to carry,

from all those sad years I feel drained.

Yes indeed I am sad very,

I feel frouded.

that are very nice.

Stumbling through this street,

dark long tunel is all I see.

please don’t fall.

I canceled this call.

Everyone’s so tall,

yet I’m so small with no goal.

I’m hearing fireworks,

a New Year?

So many questions,

without a single tear.

one and only savage.

Is that a man standing there?

Someone really average,

is it another loner in the streets?

Someone like me?

he looks startled.

It’s the bad sight,

no one was there.

Why do I care,

oh I know…

that I’m all alone.

Hope I didn’t mourn.

just another fall,

Left side shining market,

right side me high as a dawn.

Lighting like a bright magnet,

this is that market.

But nothing near,

Looks like me so hazy,

Today is too crazy.

Vision is now empty,

I see red so I vent it.

Whistling hiss is coming,

from horror to dancing.

I hear the music playing,

sick and hectic yet too amusing.

Anxiety is a huge piece of my  of mind,

let’s celebrate until I’m numb.

I hate my home.

Full of loam,

but I still open the door.

Why do I keep trying to do more?

I’ve been her before.

And I sigh,

they are broken.

The doors that I defy,

I met those eyes.

Eyes that raised me,

Put a happy face this is not me,

at least I tried.

Became an actress for what?

Ask my traumas,

how much I love my little marijauna.

Crawling to the bathroom,

she has no clue.

I’m moving slowly,

After a bath,

I sit quietly.

Yet my mom,

still breaths so loudly.

Where she left all of her love,

wish I can return time.

this little high.

For those drugs…

I would die.

Happy New Year,

try not to cry.

Light a blunt,

and stay fly.