Analysis of 2:31 am

I never let myself love anybody besides you
not fully
not with everything I had to give
I think a part of me feels like I wasn't capable
or allowed to love someone new
in a way it feels like I’m betraying you
even though we aren't together anymore
my love is still there.
how can I lie and say I love someone new
when I am still holding onto hope
that you'll change your mind?
that you'll come back and say you made
a mistake letting me go?
I can't give myself permission to love
someone
when I'm still sitting on the kitchen
floor drinking too much to forget the sound of your name
wishing you would come back to me