Analysis of Insults

No longer am I,
Among the ones to tell others...
What to kiss and where to go.
No!
I use that energy,
For other things these days.

When I began to discover,
More were seeking to be insulted.
As if this they sought to happen.
Curious I became as to why?
I am no Einstein.
To understand all that I should.

Why...
I would think.
Would people,
These mentally challenged days...
Seek to want to be insulted?

And then...
It dawned on me.
So many grew up,
From children to adulthood.
With no attention to get.
Some begging,
To be physically abused.
Seriously.
That I have seen.
Becoming empathetic.
With the parents being dared.
And children prepared,
To dial 9-1-1.

And here I am.
Appearing as if,
I enjoy being irritated.
Aggravated and awaiting.
To say what's on my mind.
Anytime of the day.
With it known I would tell,
Whoever it is...
What to kiss and where to go.
To not disappoint attention seekers.

Left to wonder,
Why they would smile.
After leaving me,
Foaming at the mouth.
Too out of breath to keep shouting.

Now...
No more of that.
I scare myself,
Being pleasant to everyone,
These days.
I smile and say hello.
Even to the people I don't know.
To get returned from some,
Looks of suspicion.
And...
Away from me quick they move too.
As if I had insulted them!

God?
I know You do Your 'thing'...
In the most mysterious of ways.
But...
Where were You?
When I needed to learn this lesson,
Much earlier!
Years ago.
I would not have had,
These pains and aches.
So...
Prematurely and at my age,
To experience them.