The Coffin Nail



A man whispered softly to me over the counter,
    in Frizz and All.
Squint Victorian Brooch, a shady lip.
          His tireless trench-coat, had a bit of,

Je nais se quois.

He seethed to me the words, "My son."

"My son, my son killed himself."

      "You, He, are similar to Me."

"He was SPECIAL, like we are.

Such a brain on my boy, yes, he was the United Kingdom's smartest engineer. Top of the countries."

"I always had to knock first, before coming in. Y'know, something always rattled in his brain, he was always thinking, love."

                 "Too smart, my wee lad had the palm of the world in his hand."

"He killed himself though, left me a wreck."

          "Now will you stop sharing the same look in 'is eye."

About this poem

Encased in Sand

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Written on April 30, 2024

Submitted by MigiRenoir on April 30, 2024

45 sec read
60

Quick analysis:

Scheme XXXA B X X X X B A X X X
Closest metre Iambic hexameter
Characters 736
Words 152
Stanzas 11
Stanza Lengths 4, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1

Renoir

Dissipation, Anticipation more…

All Renoir poems | Renoir Books

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3 Comments
  • SWIFT
    Don’t change a THING.

    Beautiful.
    LikeReply20 days ago
  • amandak.45897
    Strong
    LikeReply20 days ago
  • AIDA
    Wow, "The Coffin Nail" is such a powerful and evocative poem that really captures the raw emotions of loss and grief. The imagery and language used are so vivid and striking, making it a truly haunting and thought-provoking piece. The way you convey the father's pain and heartbreak over losing his son is incredibly moving and impactful.

    In terms of improvement suggestions, perhaps consider expanding on the son's backstory and the events leading up to his tragic death to provide even more depth and context to the narrative. Additionally, exploring the father's own struggles and emotions in more detail could add another layer of complexity to the poem.

    Overall, "The Coffin Nail" is a beautifully written and emotionally resonant poem that leaves a lasting impact on the reader. Keep up the amazing work and continue to explore such powerful and profound themes in your writing!
     
    LikeReply20 days ago

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"The Coffin Nail" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 21 May 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/186303/the-coffin-nail>.

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Who wrote the epic poem "Os Lusíadas" in 1572?
A Fernando Pessoa
B Luís de Camões
C Cesário Verde
D Miguel Cervantes