Jeremyt.40101's comments

Here's the list of comments submitted by jeremyt.40101 — There are currently 41 comments total.

	The jumble of nostolgic images that create the foundation memories of one's past, of one's life spoke to me. I remember those commodities of cheese, peanut butter, and speghetti O's. 7 months ago	View
	Lovely 7 months ago	View
	Good poem. It has a moving subject matter and keeps a deeply stirring ambience throughout, I love you word choices. The poem gives me an old fashioned mood feel like "The Spires of Oxford" or "In Flanders Field." THe only reason I gave it a four is that there are places where the rhyme scheme, meter, and syllable length of the lines can be tightened up. Like I said "good poem" and with a little work it could be a great poem. Feel fre to read my poems and criticize the hell out of them. I love feedback. Great job and Cheers, mate! more » 7 months ago	View
	Nice ending. 9 months ago	View
	Great opening stanza. 9 months ago	View
	Going down this list of new poems on the page, this one was a breath of fresh air. It has a higher quality of subtext that is instantly recognizable. I always try to give feedback rather than just platitudes so here are a few suggestions. Feel free to ignore them. I found myself wanting a few things from your poem: There is room for more specificity in certain places, but if you prefer the ambiguous that is fine. For example, you write "That etched deep/ From their hands/ And my own." All should understant self-wounds just fine, but who exactly are "they." I am not a fan of nebulous "theys." Going with the museum metaphore, instead of just saying "scars," how about giving us glimpses of specific exhibits...maybe snippets of memory or distinct wounds. Finally, I get that this is your body and not a real museum, but museums have spectators just as people always view and judge the body. Where are they in this poem. Like I said, I really do enjoy this poem. If it says exactly what you want to say in the way you want to say it then good job. If you are still working it the great start! Feel free to read and criticize any of my poems. Chew them up and spit them back out at me. I live on honest feedback. more » 9 months ago	View
	Your second stanza is your best one. 10 months ago	View
	Alcoholism is definitely a major part of this poem. When I first wrote it over twenty years ago when i was still in college, I was in the early days of my alcoholism and did not yet know it. I did not grow up with alcohol. I grew up in an extremely fundamentalist Pentecostal family. My first enconters with alcohol and the freedom to explore my homosexuality both coincided with my college years. Unfortunately, it was not a healthy collision. I had severe family problems and self-esteem issues upon coming out. My mother was quite cruel. To me the worm at the bottom of the tequila is provides an ambivolent dichotomy: It is at one the very monstrous symbol of my pain and internalized homophobia and they symbol of release from that pain as by the time I have reached it at the bottom of the bottom, I will be completely numb or passed out. In a great sense, much of this poem is very literal. I actually wrote it in one night while drunk as a skunk and lying in a bathtub. more » 10 months ago	View
	Indeed, Thank you. Feedback is a poet's best friend. 10 months ago	View
	Your poem paints the setting beautifully. 10 months ago	View
	How long does tallying take? 10 months ago	View
	Nice. i like this poem, but I feel like it is not completly done yet. I think you can find some harder words and really give it some bite. Make your poem make us feel anxious. Make us feel like we have been punched in the gut, Beaming all my love and power to you. You will do great. more » 10 months ago	View
	Nicely crafted! I feel like you have resurected the spirit of the Romantics. Kudos! 10 months ago	View
	You have strong images which you use to present differnt parts of your identity. I love it. At times, your imagery truly activates the senses. I would love it if you would read some of my poems and give me honest feedback from poet to poet. Be critical. This is how we improve our craft. Je t'aime more » 10 months ago	View
	Amazing! Your work is beautiful and suble, and it is well crafted and manages to reach that secret ache thant we all carry inside. Just lovely, dear. Jeremy S. Turner 10 months ago	View
	Thank yoy. The poem has mature characters, but it was inspired by the first real dance I had with my fiirst boyfriend. We were sexteen and our small town had a an anual celebration and dance in June. We could not go two-stepping in the square. So my boyfriend whp was an exchange student, took me to an allley three blocks away. We could still feel the music, but we were doing a different kind of dance. Lol more » 10 months ago	View
	Thank you! I had to concept of this poem for ages. I love riiffng off the artwork of others. What inspires me most is other artists. Great work generates great work. I was fearful of tackling such a well known poem and poet. May she rest in peace. Her style is a far cry from ,y stile. I can analyze her stucture easily, but getting in her headspace was dificult. Iyle finally threw it out there for the world to see. If i was going to write this poem in her style it was going to he an homage not an insult. I believe that every poem we write pays homage to all the poet who came before us. And if you craft a poem that was rift off of Emily Dickinson then you have to take the time to soak up her style. I will do this for any poet that inspires me. more » 10 months ago	View
	Lovely 10 months ago	View
	How fanciful! And I mean that in a good way. Your imagery set the scene, and I was able to be in the story. You have a stylish way of tucking a rhyme, and I always appreciate classical allusions! Kudos to you! more » 10 months ago	View
	Thank you. I was worried that I had gone too far. 10 months ago	View
	Love this! Forcing ourselves to work within a structure like the concept of contrasts, can lead to some beautiful images! Cheers! 10 months ago	View
	Ahh! That was sweet. 10 months ago	View
	Thank you for your kind words. 10 months ago	View
	In vino veritas...perfect for honest poetry. 10 months ago	View
	I sense a subtle streak of the Romantic poets in this. 10 months ago	View