Who Would I Be

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https://www.poetry.com/poem/169809/who-would-i-be

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  AIDA

  This is a splendid poem that effectively delivers a commendable message about self-acceptance and contentment. The way you’ve creatively put yourself in the shoes of various elements of nature and concluded with the comforting warmth of being yourself is really impactful. The rhyming pattern keeps the reader engaged and the flow is smooth, making the poem easy to understand.
  
  The unique portrayal of each character, like the pestering fly, the peaceful dove, the lofty pine, the elegant rose, and the handsome horse, brings out different aspects of nature and life. This showcases the poet's great ability in effectively highlighting different perspectives.
  
  A minor area of improvement could be in refining some of the verses to add depth. For instance, the section "How would it feel to be a dove? / A symbol of peace and love." could delve a bit deeper into what it could feel like being a dove, and the peace and love it symbolizes.
  
  Also, consider varying the sentence structure and length to create a balance in your verses. For example, the sentences "To be a rose, beautiful and fragrant, / Long stemmed, graceful and elegant. / This could be a possibility. / But roses fade and die - A liability!" could be restructured to focus on the inherent metaphor, getting the reader to understand, and feel, the impermanence of beauty.
  
  But overall, a most impressive piece of poetry! Keep writing and sharing such thought-provoking poems. more »

  LikeReply7 months ago